How Strangers Can Teach You to Personally Connect

Just be nice. You’ve heard it from your mother. You heard it in kindergarten (and through school). It’s on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. And, it’s good advice, for the most part. But, it’s a recipe for disaster when it’s always your default disposition. Sure, you should be nice to people as it’s the polite thing to do. But, being too nice will cause all kinds of unintentional issues. Read on to see why. How Assertiveness can Hurt You On the flip side, being too assertive can also be quite harmful. Don’t get the wrong impression. You do need to be assertive, just at the right “temperature.” If you are too assertive, you’ll come across as overbearing. And, downright mean, in some situations. People also might think you too coarse and possibly aloof or antipathetic. Leaders are placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable, human and … nice. Many yield to this instinct, because it feels much easier to be liked. Few people want to be the bad guy. But leaders are also expected to make the tough decisions that serve the company or the team’s best interests. Being too nice can be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization. —Havard Business Review Assertiveness can also be taken as overly self-serving. Basically, it’s an attitude that can easily come across the wrong way in more ways than one. Although, assertiveness does have a purpose and when it’s used strategically, it’s highly effective. That’s because striking a balance gives you the best of both worlds and a positive perspective. Which ultimately helps you to see things more clearly and make better decisions. Top Ways being Too Nice is Harmful Conversely, being too nice, is at best, problematic. It creates illusions that simply can’t be sustained. In essence, it’s a false impression, even if you’re being genuine. How? Well, here’s how being too nice is harmful in business: You project weakness. When you’re overly nice, you’re perceived as a pushover. It’s that simple. People who have this impression will try to take advantage, when and where they can. And, that sets-up a bad scenario. You attract the wrong people. Another problem with being too nice is that it does attract the wrong sort of people. Some others will take this as a green light to burden you with their own problems. Which means, you’re inviting unnecessary stress and drama into your life. People might feel distrustful. Niceness can bring out negative feelings in others you interact with. For instance, someone could sense you’re actually concealing your true feelings and merely putting up a front. So, they manifest a sense of distrustfulness. You bias your own expectations. When you’re constantly nice, you might make others feel better. But, you’re also inadvertently warping your own expectations, thinking everyone else should treat you the same. How do you balance being courteous and polite with also being assertive? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

What is an entrepreneur’s biggest enemy? There are many answers one could give to the question. Including things like self-doubt, lack of capital, not enough focus, and many more. But surprisingly, one of the biggest entrepreneurial foes is themselves. This comes in various forms, but one that’s particularly counterproductive is a rigid and unceasing belief that they can make anything work, including relationships. Usually, this is where toxic relationships come into the picture, but instead, we’re talking about relationships that just don’t work out for anyone involved. Final Endings can be Just as Healthy as New Beginnings Dr. Henry Cloud has spoken and written extensively about what he calls “necessary endings.” Basically, what this means, is putting an end to any relationship that is not a healthy one. And, it is applicable to the business world more so than one might imagine. That is to say, that sometimes putting a final end to a business relationship is also the birth of a healthy new beginning. Failed relationships in business have high costs, both financial and emotional –expensive golden parachutes, failed hires who waste costly training, partnerships and investments that lead to misery and conflict, investments that make you wish you had put your money anywhere else, buyouts that lead to the destruction of a business you’ve nurtured over decades. —Forbes Put another way, entrepreneurs are very stubborn people. They believe they can fix just about any scenario or situation. This even extends to their professional relationships, even when those relationships fail to work out time and again. Business owners mistakenly believe that just by making a few tweaks, they’ll be able to parlay productive relationships with individuals that have previously been failures. Although this isn’t so, it’s their rationalization about their own prowess that leaves them to try over and over. How to Effectively End Bad Business Relationships Fortunately, there are ways to identify and end bad business relationships. The trick is to rely on other people’s good judgment and embrace counterintuitive ideas. With a different perspective, it’s entirely possible to identify and end just about any bad business relationship. Here’s how: Stop the cycle. Instead of continuing the relationship on with the same person and experiencing the same bad results, make a resolution to realign your relationship. After all, it’s possible to remain friends, yet not be in business together. This doesn’t require an uncomfortable confrontation. Rather, gradually transition from a working relation into a just a casual one. Ask others for help. There are people in your life who you trust. Rely on their good judgment to help you see your blind spots when it comes to failed working relationships. This will probably be difficult to hear and more so to accept, but having someone else’s perspective may be enough to convince you that it just won’t work out. Try switching roles. If it seems like a particular relationship with someone in various business ventures fails time and again, perhaps it’s the wrong personality. Confide in someone else and bring them into that other person’s role in order to experience a new dynamic. Doing so might also help to reveal some of your own shortcomings. Step outside your comfort zone. It could very well be that the reason you and this other person can’t seem to get things to work out in a business environment is because you’re only comfortable in certain situations. While it’s usually beneficial to rely on others’ strengths where you have weaknesses, it’s also advantageous to overcome those weaknesses whenever possible. Look at the big picture. Having to end a relationship, even a bad one, can be very difficult. This is particularly true if you have an affinity for the other person, even when things just don’t work out. However, this type of unproductive relationship will likely only continue to disappoint rather than reward. Don’t see it as a failure on your part. Instead, accept it for what it is, good and bad, and find a realistic way to move on. What other suggestions do you have for ending bad business relationships? Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences. Your unique perspective might help one or several people out of toxic situations! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.