If You’re Too Nice, You’ll Hurt Your Business, Here’s Why

Just be nice. You’ve heard it from your mother. You heard it in kindergarten (and through school). It’s on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. And, it’s good advice, for the most part. But, it’s a recipe for disaster when it’s always your default disposition. Sure, you should be nice to people as it’s the polite thing to do. But, being too nice will cause all kinds of unintentional issues. Read on to see why.

How Assertiveness can Hurt You

On the flip side, being too assertive can also be quite harmful. Don’t get the wrong impression. You do need to be assertive, just at the right “temperature.” If you are too assertive, you’ll come across as overbearing. And, downright mean, in some situations. People also might think you too coarse and possibly aloof or antipathetic.

Leaders are placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable, human and … nice. Many yield to this instinct, because it feels much easier to be liked. Few people want to be the bad guy. But leaders are also expected to make the tough decisions that serve the company or the team’s best interests. Being too nice can be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization. —Havard Business Review

Assertiveness can also be taken as overly self-serving. Basically, it’s an attitude that can easily come across the wrong way in more ways than one. Although, assertiveness does have a purpose and when it’s used strategically, it’s highly effective. That’s because striking a balance gives you the best of both worlds and a positive perspective. Which ultimately helps you to see things more clearly and make better decisions.

Top Ways being Too Nice is Harmful

Conversely, being too nice, is at best, problematic. It creates illusions that simply can’t be sustained. In essence, it’s a false impression, even if you’re being genuine. How? Well, here’s how being too nice is harmful in business:

  • You project weakness. When you’re overly nice, you’re perceived as a pushover. It’s that simple. People who have this impression will try to take advantage, when and where they can. And, that sets-up a bad scenario.
  • You attract the wrong people. Another problem with being too nice is that it does attract the wrong sort of people. Some others will take this as a green light to burden you with their own problems. Which means, you’re inviting unnecessary stress and drama into your life.
  • People might feel distrustful. Niceness can bring out negative feelings in others you interact with. For instance, someone could sense you’re actually concealing your true feelings and merely putting up a front. So, they manifest a sense of distrustfulness.
  • You bias your own expectations. When you’re constantly nice, you might make others feel better. But, you’re also inadvertently warping your own expectations, thinking everyone else should treat you the same.

How do you balance being courteous and polite with also being assertive? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences!

Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

Is Crazy Creating Chaos in Your Company?

We all deal with crazy (read: difficult) people in life. They are rude, obnoxious, oblivious, pitiful, without fault, always victims, stir up drama, and what’s worse, don’t know so. You see, the problem with him or her is someone else besides he or she: another coworker, a family member, perhaps even you. As the head of an organization, no matter its size, you’re bound to run into crazy and what’s simply insane is the fact that you let them through the door in the first place. This is just one way business owners and managers rationalize a situation that’s spiraling out of control. “It’s a phase,” or “he or she just needs a little extra motivation.” Though these thoughts might bring a modicum of comfort, it will be short-lived. If you are faced with an employee that’s ultimately doing more harm than good, you’ve got to deal with the situation before it has time to inflict more damage.   Ways to Deal with Difficult Employees In most instances, people that behave this way aren’t at all aware of reality. While you and the rest of your team know it, the problem personality probably has a peculiar position. This is a moving or adaptable perception that assigns blame away from him or her. Of course, this makes things worse because he or she won’t be easily convinced as to what’s truly going on. Often, when an employee is difficult we stop paying attention to what’s actually going on. We’re irritated, it seems hopeless, and we’ve already decided what we think about the employee – so we just turn our attention to other things, out of a combination of avoidance and self-protection. But the best managers get very attentive when someone’s not doing well. They know their best shot at improving the situation lies in having the clearest possible understanding of the situation… —Forbes.com The very first thing you ought to do is to take stock of the dynamics. Put yourself in his or her shoes to try and gain some perspective. If that comes up short and doesn’t provide any tangible answers, you now know he or she is the real source of the problem. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to take crazy out of the company: Separate fact from friction. Yes, friction, as well as fiction. Friction between employees can easily lead to you taking sides because of your affinity for one over the other, which is where fiction comes into play. You should act on facts, not feelings, and not because of favorites. Don’t confuse performance with conduct. One rationalization for keeping problematic employees in the company is because of their so-called “redeeming qualities.” While he or she might well possess some great performance traits, it is his or her conduct that’s actually most important. What he or she might be producing individually could well be undermining his or her peers. Take time to listen and offer solutions. Should the person who brings crazy chaos into your company be a productive team member, you ought to try to invoke a turn-around. Go into a private place and ask if he or she is having any problems, then, tactfully offer solutions. If the response is knee-jerk or obtuse, it’s probably time for ultimatums. Lend a helping hand. Not your own, but someone within your organization you trust. This works best peer-to-peer, where coaching captures cooperation. Though this can work wonders, it can also become a tempting choice in the future. Don’t use it as the fallback position or you’ll simply be known for passing difficult personalities out for others to deal with. Ultimately, you are fighting to deal with a situation, not to win by wrangling control away. You want to create a solution, not to win an argument. If you do chose the latter, you are choosing to join in the craziness and even make the environment worse. Also, know when you’re at your limit, as not every situation can be resolved. There will be times when simply parting ways will be the best solution for you and your business. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

BREAKING NEWS! Entrepreneurs who need to raise capital will have no restrictions!

Hi Everyone! The moment many of us have been waiting for has finally arrived! About an hour ago, the Securities & Exchange Commission (SEC) voted to approve the FINAL rules for Title III Equity Crowdfunding under the JOBS act legislation. What this means is that in approximately 90 days, ANYONE, regardless of income, will be able to invest in a startup by purchasing shares or issuing debt and earning a financial return on their investment. This also provides entrepreneurs who need to raise capital a HUGE new investor pool as there are no restrictions on income or net worth in order to make an investment (there are caps / safeguards however built into the legislation). I will update you all as I get more information but today is a HUGE day to celebrate! To everyone who has been following this movement for the last few years, get ready for things to change in a HUGE way! Manolis Sfinarolakis Founder & CEO RCTV & VICN This is great news for Entrepreneurs who want to raise funds from the general population. I’ll post more on this later, in the meantime please share and celebrate! John Waters [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »