If You’re Too Nice, You’ll Hurt Your Business, Here’s Why

Just be nice. You’ve heard it from your mother. You heard it in kindergarten (and through school). It’s on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. And, it’s good advice, for the most part. But, it’s a recipe for disaster when it’s always your default disposition. Sure, you should be nice to people as it’s the polite thing to do. But, being too nice will cause all kinds of unintentional issues. Read on to see why.

How Assertiveness can Hurt You

On the flip side, being too assertive can also be quite harmful. Don’t get the wrong impression. You do need to be assertive, just at the right “temperature.” If you are too assertive, you’ll come across as overbearing. And, downright mean, in some situations. People also might think you too coarse and possibly aloof or antipathetic.

Leaders are placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable, human and … nice. Many yield to this instinct, because it feels much easier to be liked. Few people want to be the bad guy. But leaders are also expected to make the tough decisions that serve the company or the team’s best interests. Being too nice can be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization. —Havard Business Review

Assertiveness can also be taken as overly self-serving. Basically, it’s an attitude that can easily come across the wrong way in more ways than one. Although, assertiveness does have a purpose and when it’s used strategically, it’s highly effective. That’s because striking a balance gives you the best of both worlds and a positive perspective. Which ultimately helps you to see things more clearly and make better decisions.

Top Ways being Too Nice is Harmful

Conversely, being too nice, is at best, problematic. It creates illusions that simply can’t be sustained. In essence, it’s a false impression, even if you’re being genuine. How? Well, here’s how being too nice is harmful in business:

  • You project weakness. When you’re overly nice, you’re perceived as a pushover. It’s that simple. People who have this impression will try to take advantage, when and where they can. And, that sets-up a bad scenario.
  • You attract the wrong people. Another problem with being too nice is that it does attract the wrong sort of people. Some others will take this as a green light to burden you with their own problems. Which means, you’re inviting unnecessary stress and drama into your life.
  • People might feel distrustful. Niceness can bring out negative feelings in others you interact with. For instance, someone could sense you’re actually concealing your true feelings and merely putting up a front. So, they manifest a sense of distrustfulness.
  • You bias your own expectations. When you’re constantly nice, you might make others feel better. But, you’re also inadvertently warping your own expectations, thinking everyone else should treat you the same.

How do you balance being courteous and polite with also being assertive? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences!

Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

3 Effective Ways to Beat Zoom Fatigue

Family businesses generally operate a bit differently than traditional companies. While many aspects are the same or similar, odd situations occur more often in family businesses. And, that’s due to the fact it’s family and not “strangers” that are part of the day-to-day operations. So, common things in regular business arrangements might be quite different than in a family business. For example, employee compensation. Some family businesses neglect to give their employees pay raises because they are members of the family. In other words, it’s not a common practice, because the business is run by a family, instead of unrelated individuals. Of course, the phenomenon of unconventionality is something that can easily be part of a family business, simply because all the individuals involved are related and feel an obligation and duty to the company. Family Business Fringe Benefits are Fine, but Not Compensation Replacements Some family businesses provide their employee relatives with certain fringe benefits. These might be things like extra flexibility with schedules. Or, extra time off for vacations with pay. It could even be things like a company credit card and/or a company vehicle. The job of operating a family-owned company is often grievously complicated by friction arising from rivalries involving a father and his son, brothers, or other family members who hold positions in the business, or at least derive income from it. Unless the principals face up to their feelings of hostility, the business will suffer and may even die. —Harvard Business Review While such perks are nice, they do not take the place of compensation. But, it isn’t at all uncommon for the family business head to see such fringe benefits as a replacement for compensation. Since their relative employees enjoy perks, they view this as some type of offset to a raise and reasonable pay. This can create very awkward and sometimes even toxic situations to arise. Moreover, if non-relatives are working in the company, who do receive bumps in pay periodically, this can lead to outright resentment. How to Talk about Pay Raises in a Family Business Needless to say, it is a very frustrating and even unfair position to be put into by the very business you so loyally serve. Worse still, is that the longer you let it go on, the more normalized it becomes. And that is definitely something you don’t want to happen. Here is some effective advice for approaching the subject about a raise in pay from your family business: Determine your actual value. This applies to every employee, and not just individuals working for family businesses. You need to know for certain what your worth is, based on real-world comparisons. Unfortunately, too many employees overestimate their value and therefore, ask too much from their employer. So, be sure to do your research in order to determine your actual value in the workplace, base on your skill sets, experience, position, and responsibilities. Understand the company’s financial position. Before you bring the subject up, be certain that you know the financial circumstances of the business at large. Don’t assume anything, particularly if you’re not regularly involved in the company’s finances. Guessing and vague ideas will only lead to trouble in one form or another. If you do not have a firm understanding of the business’s financial situation, it might make the entire exercise moot. Or, it could also cause you to become envious and greedy. Be calm, reasonable, polite, but firm. There’s no question that being in such a set of unfair circumstances will cause you to have any number of negative feelings. Remember these are counterproductive to your end goal. You will get much further by being respectful but firm and by engaging in a good-faith negotiation, rather than starting a family feud. If you let your negative emotions get the best of you, it will only lead to a bad outcome in the short term, and perhaps even ruin your relationship over the long term. What other suggestions do you have for such a peculiar and awkward situation? Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your unique perspective! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

How to Think Clearly when Times are Crazy

Only a few short months ago, the economy was on fire. Then, a slow moving disaster crept across the globe. Shortly after, the coronavirus pandemic triggered a drastic response. An almost total shutdown ensued. Now, re-openings are happening everywhere. But, the unprecedented reaction upended so much, it’s very difficult to return to normalcy. And, it’s enough to make your head spin. The Real Cost of Rash Decisions Rash decisions typically equal regret. But, it’s not just the let down. It’s also the waste of time and money. We all know this, which is precisely why we instinctively hate making rushed decisions. It’s the reason we take time to understand the circumstances. But, when the pressure is on, it’s difficult to resist in the moment. …we need information and we need help to face our problems. But we can only arrive at the solutions by ourselves. The trick is giving our minds the space they need. —Psychology Today Everyone responds to stress differently. Although, there are most definitely commonalities. Fast heart beat, perspiration, even trembling, are all physical symptoms. Then, there’s the toll it takes on your emotions and it becomes very difficult to think clearly. Effective Ways to Think Clearly So, just how do you clear your head? Most people will take a deep breath (which makes the list below). But, sometimes, that’s not enough. Here are some helpful suggestions for how to think clearly during crazy times: Take a deep breath. Okay, this is an obvious bit of advice. But, it bears repeating because it’s not only simple, but often, effective. Taking a moment to slow down and breath deeply can work wonders. Unfortunately, this isn’t always sufficient. Focus on the problem, not the outcome. While taking a bit of time out might help, it could fall short. If you’re worried about the outcome, that’s perfectly normal. But, if that worry is preventing you from taking any action, then focus on the problem or process and not the potential outcome. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Of course, it’s always best to plan. So, follow the old adage and plan for the best result while being prepared for the worst case scenario. If you can’t completely sidestep a bad outcome, at least mitigate its impact. Solicit advice from several sources. Two heads are better than one. This not only gives you different points of view, it also helps to take the pressure off and gives you more options. Remember, you don’t always have to make decisions alone. Set the situation aside and work on something else. Another great way to clear your head is to occupy yourself with something else temporarily. You’ll get the satisfaction of completing a task and it gives you time to think a bit outside the box. Meditate and/or Pray. Find a moment to be still. You could do this during your breathing exercise noted above. Calm your mind. Find a moment to listen to your breathing and close your eyes. Now meditate on all you’ve been given and how grateful you are for what you have. Thank God for the challenges and opportunities your dealing with and trust Him for His guidance and wisdom to get you through knowing he works all things for good. What other suggestions do you have for thinking clearly? Please, take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences by commenting and benefiting others! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

The Biggest Pros and Cons of Strategic Partnerships

A strategic partnership can provide a number of advantages to just about any size business. In fact, it’s the reason that some multinational corporations team up together. Even though they have vast resources of their own, there are often specific tools, appeal to a certain base, experienced skill sets, and more which simply make it more advantageous to partner than do it on their own. Small businesses can likewise benefit from strategic partnerships much in the same way. However, just because there are some distinct advantages doesn’t mean these are always the best choice. Biggest Downsides of a Strategic Partnership There are drawbacks to entering into a strategic partnership. For instance, you must rely on this particular partner to carry out some responsibilities. How, when, and where should obviously be agreed on beforehand. But, this doesn’t necessarily mean it will all go according to plan. Then, there’s the matter of putting your reputation in the hands of another company. If you rely on your strategic partner to represent your business in any way publicly, you are obviously putting a great deal of trust and faith that they will execute accordingly and bolster your company’s name rather than tarnish it. One of the biggest mistakes business owners make is trying to do everything alone. To combat this error, business owners must hire and train the right employees. In addition, they should leverage strategic partners. So what is a strategic partner? A strategic partner is another business with whom you enter into an agreement that aims to help both of you achieve more success. —Forbes.com There is also the possibility that your strategic partner doesn’t truly possess the means and resources you think it does. In other words, you might have to put far more into the relationship than you get out of it. Of course, that would pretty much defeat the entire purpose of teaming up in the first place. Lastly, your strategic partner might be put in a position where they must decide between their own self-interest and their shared interest with your company — you likely know which they will ultimately choose. Biggest Advantages of a Strategic Partnership Of course, strategic partnerships aren’t always bad or no businesses would ever team up together. There are some compelling advantages to partnering with another company. Here are some of the biggest benefits of entering into a strategic partnership: More resources. The single biggest benefit is usually almost instant access to a greater amount of resources. By partnering with another business, you’re essentially expanding your own team and reaching more customers nearly immediately. More versatility. A strategic partnership can also bring with it various skill sets and experiences. Instead of having to seek out individual talent and spend time and effort to bring these things on board from within your own company, you already have an established organization to help your business grow. Different perspective. Perhaps one of the most valuable aspects of having a strategic partner is having another set of eyes and ears to examine situations. Rather than having to rely on just your own judgment, past experiences, and biases, you’ll have someone that has their own interest (and therefore yours too) at heart, which can be extremely beneficial in various sets of circumstances. What other pros and cons of strategic partnerships should be included? Please take a brief moment to leave a comment and share your thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your strategies. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »