If You’re Too Nice, You’ll Hurt Your Business, Here’s Why

Just be nice. You’ve heard it from your mother. You heard it in kindergarten (and through school). It’s on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. And, it’s good advice, for the most part. But, it’s a recipe for disaster when it’s always your default disposition. Sure, you should be nice to people as it’s the polite thing to do. But, being too nice will cause all kinds of unintentional issues. Read on to see why.

How Assertiveness can Hurt You

On the flip side, being too assertive can also be quite harmful. Don’t get the wrong impression. You do need to be assertive, just at the right “temperature.” If you are too assertive, you’ll come across as overbearing. And, downright mean, in some situations. People also might think you too coarse and possibly aloof or antipathetic.

Leaders are placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable, human and … nice. Many yield to this instinct, because it feels much easier to be liked. Few people want to be the bad guy. But leaders are also expected to make the tough decisions that serve the company or the team’s best interests. Being too nice can be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization. —Havard Business Review

Assertiveness can also be taken as overly self-serving. Basically, it’s an attitude that can easily come across the wrong way in more ways than one. Although, assertiveness does have a purpose and when it’s used strategically, it’s highly effective. That’s because striking a balance gives you the best of both worlds and a positive perspective. Which ultimately helps you to see things more clearly and make better decisions.

Top Ways being Too Nice is Harmful

Conversely, being too nice, is at best, problematic. It creates illusions that simply can’t be sustained. In essence, it’s a false impression, even if you’re being genuine. How? Well, here’s how being too nice is harmful in business:

  • You project weakness. When you’re overly nice, you’re perceived as a pushover. It’s that simple. People who have this impression will try to take advantage, when and where they can. And, that sets-up a bad scenario.
  • You attract the wrong people. Another problem with being too nice is that it does attract the wrong sort of people. Some others will take this as a green light to burden you with their own problems. Which means, you’re inviting unnecessary stress and drama into your life.
  • People might feel distrustful. Niceness can bring out negative feelings in others you interact with. For instance, someone could sense you’re actually concealing your true feelings and merely putting up a front. So, they manifest a sense of distrustfulness.
  • You bias your own expectations. When you’re constantly nice, you might make others feel better. But, you’re also inadvertently warping your own expectations, thinking everyone else should treat you the same.

How do you balance being courteous and polite with also being assertive? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences!

Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

These Two Words Reveal Bad Leadership Skills

Harry Truman once said, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” Ronald Reagan echoed that sentiment. JFK famously said, “…ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.” Taking credit, even when legitimately earned, doesn’t sit well with others. People often take it as pompous, even narcissistic. That’s because it simply comes across that way, even if you don’t mean it at all. That’s why two simple words can give you a glimpse into someone else’s leadership style. Language Reveals a Lot about Personality The two words that serve as warning signs of bad leadership are merely pronouns — “me” and “I.” Someone who repeatedly uses “me” and “I” are subtly (perhaps overtly) expressing their worldview. That’s right, he or she is the center around which everything revolves. Leadership is one of the most important factors determining the success of a company. Poor leadership can seriously affect employee morale and even cause the company’s bottom line to plunge. Bad leadership leads to poor employee retention and demotivates the remaining employees, causing them to be much less productive than they would otherwise be. —Houston Chronicle Small Business Okay, that’s cliche, but it exposes a hard truth. We don’t like to think of ourselves as selfish, so we also don’t like to apply that label to others. Though, when the behavior is egregious, it not only seems appropriate to think of as an undesirable quality, but almost a necessity to call out. 3 Devastatingly Poor Leadership Traits While there are certainly numerous bad leadership attributes, three are among the absolute worst. They undermine the very role of a leader. So, doing any one of them (or more) will only be counterproductive. Here three hurtful leadership characteristics to avoid all the time: Micromanaging. Unsurprisingly, this makes the top of the list. Micromanagers are among the most despised people because their behavior is completely counterproductive. Insisting on control of everything means there’s really no need for anyone else. It’s so hated, this trait ranks among the highest in dissatisfaction among people in survey after survey. It shows you have no confidence in anyone else. Plus, it proclaims you’re the only competent person in the workplace. Not recognizing others. This isn’t much different from micromanaging because it stirs up just about as much resentment. It shows a lack of care and regard for others. It also says that you have little respect for the work others work so hard to produce. If you aren’t encouraging others through recognition, you’re insulting them in more than one way. Failing to share information. When you aren’t transparent and open about what’s going on or what’s expected, you’re effectively sabotaging anyone without that information. “To be unclear is to be unkind” the saying goes. It speaks volumes because keeping too much too close to the vest shows a real lack of trust. Without trust, there’s no way to have a working relationship. What other signs tip you off to a bad leader? Please share your thoughts and experiences by commenting! Others can greatly benefit from what you have to contribute. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Network Event Do’s and Don’ts

Some people have an innate ability to walk into a room full of strangers and start connecting and uncovering business contacts galore. They seem to glide through the room, smiling, freely introducing themselves, while holding conversation. These people know how to read a room and individuals naturally. Then, there are people who move through events quickly, collecting an astounding number of business cards while shaking hand after hand. The difference between the two personalities couldn’t be more stark. One is making new contacts, the other is doing little more than trying to bag new clients. It’s obvious which one will benefit and which one won’t. The purpose of networking events is to do just that: meet new people and have conversations. It’s how you go about it that makes all the difference. Connecting with people is an art form, and, is learned over time. Before there’s any real connection, though, you’ve got to be prepared to meet new people. Network Event Do’s and Don’ts There’s a huge difference between meeting new people and connecting with them. Meeting a group of new people is even more of a challenge than meeting a single person or a very small group. Attending a networking event is something that stirs excitement and anxiety. These events tend to be noisy, where it’s not easy to hold a conversation. What’s more, you’re expected to participate and interact with several people. We network because we don’t work and live in a silo. Due to human nature, we tend to trust doing business with people we know or who are referred to us. People often think of the need to network whenever their jobs are in jeopardy, or whenever they’re in search of new business. —Career Builder When you go to a networking event, you do so to open new doors. There won’t be time to establish a relationship and connect with others, but there will be plenty of opportunity to introduce yourself and hold brief, casual conversations. To accomplish this simple, yet challenging feat, you ought to know the do’s and don’ts of event networking. Network Event Do’s Go prepared. You ought to have a brief list of topics to discuss and/or experiences to share. It’s okay to go over these out loud and practice introducing yourself. Just don’t practice too much, or, it will sound rehearsed and artificial. Keep one hand free at all times. Keep your dominant hand free of snacks, drinks, and other objects. You’ll be able to freely shake hands without having an awkward moment to find a place to temporarily set something down. Know who to approach. Just because someone is standing alone doesn’t mean you ought to rush over to approach. Take a moment to read his or her face and body language. When you do make eye contact, confidently approach and introduce yourself. Look for opportunities to offer help. One of the most powerful and likable gestures is to ask questions and offer your assistance. Only offer to help when it’s realistic and be sure to follow-up. Don’t make the mistake of over-promising or over-extending. Network Event Don’ts Believe collecting business cards is a measure of success. Remember, the purpose of attending these events is to meet people — not just to collect business cards. If that’s all you accomplish, the whole exercise is for naught. Be on the lookout for someone else while speaking with another. If you do have the misfortune of getting into a boring conversation, find a gracious and courteous way to excuse yourself. What you should avoid is awkwardly scanning the room for someone else to speak with to break away. Try to impress others with jargon or facts. Using big words, insider jargon, or trying to impress with a barrage of facts is a turn off. It’s pretentious and tells others you lack self confidence. What’s more, it keeps you from having a genuine conversation. Speak over or interrupt others. This sounds obvious, but, it’s something that can be unintentional when you’re nervous. When you do approach someone else and introduce yourself, be courteous, ask polite questions, and listen. Yes, the purpose of attending Network Events is ultimately to acquire new business. However, do not go to a Network Event if that is your initial purpose. Your priority for attending a Network Event is to develop Relationships which you can foster over time into a business opportunity with that connection or with someone they introduce to you. Minimize your agenda, and spend time listening and asking the other person questions about themselves and their business. Show them genuine interest and watch how your relationship moves to trust even during the Network Event. Isn’t it more rewarding to leave a Network Event with 3 or 4 really good, meaningful connections where both of you developed a relationship and can follow up after the event to further explore opportunities together? When is the last time you attended a Network Event and made some meaningful connections that turned into real business? [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

Employees are Quitting Instead of Returning to Work and That’s a Good Thing — Here’s Why

Leading news organizations continue to report a substantial number of employees are quitting their jobs rather than returning to work. The headlines are stark and alarming. They are also good news. Yes, it’s actually not cause for alarm. Instead, it’s a blessing in disguise, a silver lining to a cloud. Read on to learn why. Quitters Never Win? It’s a cliche, “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” But, we all know there are certainly exceptions. Put another way, sometimes quitting is the right choice, the best option, for an employee. Moving on and into something new can prove extraordinarily fortunate and fulfilling. However, it can also reveal qualities that aren’t net positives for businesses. After spending more than a year at home, some don’t want to go back to commuting, preferring the flexibility of remote work at least a few days a week. Others are simply burned out from logging long hours while also balancing child care and remote school, sometimes all at once. And nearly all employees are ready to see what else is out there. —CNBC Practically anyone who chooses to walk away and be part of what’s currently referred to as the “Great Resignation” is doing so for almost entirely personal reasons. And, that could very well point to a deficiency not previously exposed to co-workers, administrators, and owners. This of course being, unwanted characteristics, such as laziness, lack of passion or even interest, and just showing up for a paycheck. All of those are things a business can really do without. 3 Top Employee Qualities On the other side of the equation is the qualities that are the most beneficial to businesses. Companies should always look beyond resumes and take full advantage of the interview process (perhaps even going so far as to an informal interview over lunch or dinner). Here are some of the top qualities good employees naturally exhibit: Strong work ethic. Someone with a strong work ethic will obviously be productive. But also, concerned about the quality of work he or she is producing. But, be careful not to mistake a workaholic or the extreme statistics of the Japanese “karoshi,” people who literally die as a result of overworking. Strong work ethic isn’t the same and will offer a much more well-adjusted person to your team. Enthusiasm for the job. An enthusiastic individual is quite fortunately fairly easy to spot and even more thankfully, easy to distinguish from a phony or fake. (Phonies and fakes often exhibit many telltale signs they are just not genuine.) These people usually speak with zeal and great pleasure about their work. What’s more, will also talk about their work in a very focused yet informal and understandable manner. Team cooperation and collaboration. Place this quality in the “obvious” column, but one that’s definitely worth including. A person who is a true team player tends to be an individual who loves to listen to the input and perspective of others. Also, someone who can follow instructions without a bad or negative attitude, but can just as easily step into a leadership role, yet relinquish control for the good of the company. What other suggestions do you have? Please take a brief moment to share your thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your unique perspective! You might just help out someone in a profound way. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Imagine Selling Your Business…

How Would Your Life Change?

You didn’t start your business just to stay busy—you built it to create freedom, security, and options for yourself and your family. Selling your business can be life-changing, but the real question is whether you’re intentionally building toward that outcome or simply leaving it to chance.

Sign up below for a free consultative session to learn what your business could be worth today and in the future! 

Thank you for your interest in learning what your business is worth. We will be in touch shortly.