If You’re Too Nice, You’ll Hurt Your Business, Here’s Why

Just be nice. You’ve heard it from your mother. You heard it in kindergarten (and through school). It’s on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. And, it’s good advice, for the most part. But, it’s a recipe for disaster when it’s always your default disposition. Sure, you should be nice to people as it’s the polite thing to do. But, being too nice will cause all kinds of unintentional issues. Read on to see why.

How Assertiveness can Hurt You

On the flip side, being too assertive can also be quite harmful. Don’t get the wrong impression. You do need to be assertive, just at the right “temperature.” If you are too assertive, you’ll come across as overbearing. And, downright mean, in some situations. People also might think you too coarse and possibly aloof or antipathetic.

Leaders are placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable, human and … nice. Many yield to this instinct, because it feels much easier to be liked. Few people want to be the bad guy. But leaders are also expected to make the tough decisions that serve the company or the team’s best interests. Being too nice can be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization. —Havard Business Review

Assertiveness can also be taken as overly self-serving. Basically, it’s an attitude that can easily come across the wrong way in more ways than one. Although, assertiveness does have a purpose and when it’s used strategically, it’s highly effective. That’s because striking a balance gives you the best of both worlds and a positive perspective. Which ultimately helps you to see things more clearly and make better decisions.

Top Ways being Too Nice is Harmful

Conversely, being too nice, is at best, problematic. It creates illusions that simply can’t be sustained. In essence, it’s a false impression, even if you’re being genuine. How? Well, here’s how being too nice is harmful in business:

  • You project weakness. When you’re overly nice, you’re perceived as a pushover. It’s that simple. People who have this impression will try to take advantage, when and where they can. And, that sets-up a bad scenario.
  • You attract the wrong people. Another problem with being too nice is that it does attract the wrong sort of people. Some others will take this as a green light to burden you with their own problems. Which means, you’re inviting unnecessary stress and drama into your life.
  • People might feel distrustful. Niceness can bring out negative feelings in others you interact with. For instance, someone could sense you’re actually concealing your true feelings and merely putting up a front. So, they manifest a sense of distrustfulness.
  • You bias your own expectations. When you’re constantly nice, you might make others feel better. But, you’re also inadvertently warping your own expectations, thinking everyone else should treat you the same.

How do you balance being courteous and polite with also being assertive? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences!

Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

Did the Solar Eclipse Reveal Your Business Blind Spot?

Did the solar eclipse reveal your business blind spot? Probably not. And, you’ve likely not even considered you actually have a business blind spot. But, there’s a really high probability you do — you just don’t see it. Sure, life throws obstacles in our way — that’s expected. However, one of the most obtuse isn’t always from an outside source — it’s from within. What’s more, you don’t recognize it for what it truly is and that’s your business blind spot. How to Find Your Business Blind Spot It could well be you’re relying too much on short-cuts in communication — texting instead of actual face-to-face interactions. Or, it might just be something completely different. In a vehicle, it’s quite easy to identify the blind spot. We all know where it’s located in the cars we drive. But, when it comes to business, your blind spot hides until you actively look for it. And, it’s probably tripping you up clandestinely. Entrepreneurs regularly confront a host of tough challenges. Just a sampling among them: landing their first sale, growing their customer base, hiring the right employees, managing cash flow and getting access to funding. But the biggest challenge entrepreneurs may face is either a self-limiting or self-inflated view of their capabilities. Possessing fear, self-doubt, over-confidence, in-group thinking, misplaced commitment to a selected course of action or entrepreneurial myopia are just some ways an entrepreneur can sabotage his or her business. —Entrepreneur.com For some entrepreneurs, it’s not effectively dealing with critics. Hey, why waste time on such a thing? For others, it’s being too myopic, focusing on one thing and not seeing the bigger picture. So, what’s your business blind spot? What is it that you just don’t see? The best way to uncover it is to seek information from different sources. Once you have a more robust picture, you’ll easily be able to pin down your own business blind spot: Introspection. A little self-reflection goes a long, long way, particularly when you’re completely honest. Look inside for some answers. What is it that you already know is an inherent weakness? You can also look back on a time when you fell short and examine that event to uncover answers. Team input. After you look inward, it’s time to see if that lines up with what others who work with you observe. Don’t be surprised if you’ve missed the mark. While Introspection can really be insightful, it can also lead to blind spots if we don’t bring balance with other perspectives. Customer feedback. Your customers are also a great source of information. Solicit feedback and take it to heart. Don’t dismiss what you learn because they want you to be your best. After all, it benefits them, as well. So listen earnestly and take appropriate action thereafter. Retracing your steps. When you make a mistake, you learn from the experience. But, it shouldn’t be cursory. Carefully retrace your steps. What is it that you did that lead you in the wrong direction? Even if it’s an outside force, you made a decision. Look into your weaknesses. Your weaknesses are sometimes known as excuses. But, like mistakes, you can learn from your weaknesses and best of all, work to make improvements. It could be your business blind spot lies in a weakness. Have you identified your business blind spot? What steps did you use to uncover what you didn’t clearly see? Please share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a comment! Would you like to read more about Blind Spots? My friend, Kevin McCarthy, keynote speaker, trainer and author just published a compelling and informative book describing how his blind spots landed him in a federal prison for 33 months for a crime he didn’t knowingly commit. Learn more about: “Blind Spots – Why Good People Make Bad Choices”. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

How to Deal with Customers who Monopolize Your Time

You’ll encounter a number of personalities as a business owner. Most are pleasant but some are downright rude. Others might be quirky, yet fun. Still, others can be flat-out nightmares. Then, there are those clients who demand too much, want to pay too little, and brag about their importance, yet still, have high praise for you. Of course, there are also niche personalities, people who possess less-than-desirable traits, such as individuals who take up way too much of your precious time, completely oblivious to the fact you must also take care of others. Fortunately, there are a few ways to cope with customers who tend to monopolize your time. Time-Wasting Customers Take a Big Toll It’s not just the boring, pointless conversations that are problematic. It’s the fact that you’re having to take time away from true priorities. Obviously, this can be very frustrating and even detrimental to your business. After all, if you can’t attend to matters as needed, it causes you to rush and that leads to mistakes. But, it also has other negative consequences. For instance, draining you mentally and straining your patience thin. Good salespeople understand how to walk a fine line between ignoring a client and spending too much time on him. As a sales professional, you need to learn how to use your time to maximum advantage. If a client or customer is monopolizing your time with no intention of buying anything, the ability to disengage without causing offense is vital. —Houston Chronicle Small Busienss When you experience such feelings, it can easily put you in a bad mood. A foul state of mind could also cause you to unfairly snap at your own team. Or, just ruin a good portion of your day. At the very least, you’ll probably become preoccupied and ruminate on your misfortune, which might lead you to become apathetic for the rest of the afternoon. How to Deal with Customers who Monopolize Your Time The thing is, a good percentage of time-monopolizers aren’t really conscious of their own behavior. (Unless it’s such an annoying trait, other people have made them aware.) Even if he or she knows their tendency, it’s a very difficult behavior to change. Which means it’s largely on you. Here are a few effective strategies for dealing with customers who monopolize your time: Redirect his or her attention. Instead of cutting off the conversation entirely, steer it in another direction. Ask about his or her specific interests in relation to your mutual business and give them a few options to consider. This creates a bit of a diversion and puts the onus on him or her to move the interaction along in a constructive manner rather than meandering from one thing to another. Reschedule and restructure. You can also reschedule a day and time to meet, with certain parameters so it isn’t open-ended. For example, excuse yourself with the caveat you’ll meet again soon. Set a time and also set a structure or an agenda so that he or she knows it’s all about getting things accomplished in a cooperative, timely manner. Get him or her to focus. If you sense he or she is about to go off on a tangent, grab his or her attention with a point or fact that moves the conversation toward a conclusion. This could be about a timeframe, price, quantity, or something else. It should serve as a way to complete the transaction at hand. Regardless of what strategy you choose, or even if you use a combination, always express your appreciation and let them know how valuable they are to your business. Don’t rush and take time to listen to his or her feedback so you don’t accidentally cause an unnecessary rift that could result in unexpected repercussions. What other suggestions would you give entrepreneurs who experience time monopolizers? Please take a moment to share your thoughts; it could be a big help to others when they need it most! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

I Took Over the Family Business but My Parents won’t Let Me Run It

You have taken over the family business. At least ostensibly. But, it appears that your parents (maybe one in particular), has yet to truly let go of the company. That is to say, your parents collectively, or mom or dad, are still running the day-to-day operations, even though they’re not supposed to do so any longer. It’s driving you crazy, and what’s more, it’s beginning to create a confusing situation among your employees. Worse still, you’re not getting the control and respect you deserve. So, what can you do? Common Family Business Challenges When a child or children take over the family business from their parents, it is not at all uncommon for the parents to stick around for a little while. However, if they continue with their normal presence and engagement, it can create a number of problems. First and foremost of course, is the fact that successors aren’t seen as true authority figures. But, that’s not all. While business owners typically make more money by selling to a third party, many want to keep their companies in the family. ‘If it’s a growing and thriving business, it should appreciate and produce income for the kids,’ says Amelia Heath, a lawyer in Portland, Ore., with Davis Wright Tremaine. ‘If the kids are involved, then giving them the business can be a good choice.’ —Kiplinger Because the children’s role has been marginalized, they don’t feel comfortable or empowered to make any needed changes. Obviously, the employee’s disposition at large will also be affected by this type of situation. In short, it creates an awkward and uncomfortable scenario that just can’t be tolerated. How to Take Over a Family Business from Parents Who won’t Let Go If you’re experiencing these types of circumstances, you’re probably very unhappy, to say the least. Though you appreciate your parents’ past and current contributions, you’re now the one that is supposed to be running the business. Even though they’ve passed it off to you, they’re still holding on to their previous roles. So, here are a few helpful suggestions: Have “the talk.” While it’s either the last thing you want to do, or you’re eager to jump into it, you’ll have to have a firm yet caring discussion. Get the point across that you greatly appreciate all they have done and would also be equally grateful to help you out as you need it, but you must take on the position they’ve passed to you to honor their legacy. In other words, treat them with respect and gracefully allow them to transition out of the company. Speak with your employees. Next, it will probably be necessary to speak to the employees in much the same way. That is to say, that you are now the one that is in charge of the business and they should look to you. Give them a little leeway with this, because if your parents are still even marginally involved, they’ll naturally feel obligated to listen to them. However, given a little time, the entire dynamic will change and the employees will respect your place as the head of the company. Get all your vendors up-to-date. The same thing holds true for vendors. Because they have a long-standing relationship with your parents, they will also feel more comfortable doing business with your folks rather than you. Just as with the employees, this too will change over time. Make necessary changes incrementally. Another way to make the transition go smoother is to hold off making any big changes in the short term. (At least, those things that can wait.) This way, your parents won’t feel as though they’ve been doing something wrong, or that you’ve been itching to making changes they’ve long resisted. What other suggestions do you have? Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your perspective! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group

Read More »