If You’re Too Nice, You’ll Hurt Your Business, Here’s Why

Just be nice. You’ve heard it from your mother. You heard it in kindergarten (and through school). It’s on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. And, it’s good advice, for the most part. But, it’s a recipe for disaster when it’s always your default disposition. Sure, you should be nice to people as it’s the polite thing to do. But, being too nice will cause all kinds of unintentional issues. Read on to see why.

How Assertiveness can Hurt You

On the flip side, being too assertive can also be quite harmful. Don’t get the wrong impression. You do need to be assertive, just at the right “temperature.” If you are too assertive, you’ll come across as overbearing. And, downright mean, in some situations. People also might think you too coarse and possibly aloof or antipathetic.

Leaders are placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable, human and … nice. Many yield to this instinct, because it feels much easier to be liked. Few people want to be the bad guy. But leaders are also expected to make the tough decisions that serve the company or the team’s best interests. Being too nice can be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization. —Havard Business Review

Assertiveness can also be taken as overly self-serving. Basically, it’s an attitude that can easily come across the wrong way in more ways than one. Although, assertiveness does have a purpose and when it’s used strategically, it’s highly effective. That’s because striking a balance gives you the best of both worlds and a positive perspective. Which ultimately helps you to see things more clearly and make better decisions.

Top Ways being Too Nice is Harmful

Conversely, being too nice, is at best, problematic. It creates illusions that simply can’t be sustained. In essence, it’s a false impression, even if you’re being genuine. How? Well, here’s how being too nice is harmful in business:

  • You project weakness. When you’re overly nice, you’re perceived as a pushover. It’s that simple. People who have this impression will try to take advantage, when and where they can. And, that sets-up a bad scenario.
  • You attract the wrong people. Another problem with being too nice is that it does attract the wrong sort of people. Some others will take this as a green light to burden you with their own problems. Which means, you’re inviting unnecessary stress and drama into your life.
  • People might feel distrustful. Niceness can bring out negative feelings in others you interact with. For instance, someone could sense you’re actually concealing your true feelings and merely putting up a front. So, they manifest a sense of distrustfulness.
  • You bias your own expectations. When you’re constantly nice, you might make others feel better. But, you’re also inadvertently warping your own expectations, thinking everyone else should treat you the same.

How do you balance being courteous and polite with also being assertive? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences!

Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

Use Your Past to Build a Better Future

Mistakes, missteps, adversity, hurt, and failure. All of these are negative experiences, at least, at first impression. We’ve all dealt with heartache and heartbreak, with disappointment and resentment. So many pessimistic experiences and impressions can easily discourage to the point of apathy. It’s choosing another path to deal with such occurrences that’s one of the single most difficult things to do in life, and in business. There’s just no avoiding the fact that mistakes will be made, perhaps even to the extent of leading to outright failure of a company, even for entities that are established and realizing a profit. No matter the size or presence of a brand, it can deteriorate and ultimately flounder to the point of no return. We’ve seen this before in the business world, particularly in giants: Blockbuster Video, Circuit City, Borders Books and Music, Radio Shack, Montgomery Wards, Steak & Ale, the list goes on and on. Use Your Past to Build a Better Future One obstacle to overcome is being creatures of habit. Sure, these definitely differ from person to person, but regardless, remain part and parcel of our day-to-day routines. It’s quite easy to let this phenomenon creep into a business environment, and sometimes, with the best of intentions. Habit (read: practice and procedure) can be a good thing. It can also be a death knell, and when you can’t pinpoint the root cause, make you susceptible to more than one failure. The more clearly you understand your strengths and how they enabled you to get to this point, the more effectively you can leverage them into a bright and fulfilling future. It’s important not to regret the past. Instead, you must appreciate all of your positive experiences and find a way to learn from the negative ones. —Business Insider Our past is part of who we are, but, it doesn’t have to define who we are or what we can become. If you think about it for a moment, your past is one of the most valuable weapons you have in your arsenal leading you into the future. This is so understood, it’s actually become a set of quintessential cliches. We see these motivating messages all the time and get a lift. That feeling subsides and it’s human nature to let the past work its negativity on us. I share with my clients that although my successes are something I appreciate, it is my failures that provided me the learning to excel and help others accelerate their success in less time and less mistakes. Failure is the precursor to success. Failure is an event so do not let it define who you are. Use your past to empower yourself and move forward with your future: Change small things, one at a time. There’s a technique in the world of psychology known as, “solution focused brief therapy.” In short, it works by putting focus on building solutions instead of problem solving. It works in a splendidly simple way: you change one small thing at a time. It could be waking-up 10 minutes earlier, exercising just a little every day, or working on this or that skill. Whatever it is, when you become better at it, you’ll feel a genuine sense of accomplishment. Take-on tasks you regularly avoid. Speaking of exercise, this is one thing many people avoid, though it certainly isn’t the only one. You might not like talking on the phone, going-over or creating certain documents, or some other task. Here again, whatever it might be, incremental change is key. Know and accept your weaknesses. You might not be good at this or that, and that’s perfectly okay. For entrepreneurs, this is a very difficult concept to accept. Being natural self-starters, optimists, and enthusiasts, not being able to excel at something is foreign and frustrating. When you do accept your weaknesses, you’re actually demonstrating your own strength, particularly if you bring-in someone else that has those exact skill sets. Look at yourself through another’s eyes. You probably get compliments from time to time, though these might not be overt. Take stock in each one by accepting them for what they are, and know it’s how the person who gave it truly feels about you. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

Big Benefits of Business Coaching

It takes a lot of determination, grit, and optimism to start and grow a business in today’s environment. The duality of the web is that you can broadcast further than ever before, reaching more potential customers, but so can your competition. The internet certainly changes the dynamics of business, but it’s not your only tool. You have more at your disposal, and for many entrepreneurs, they don’t look to much else. That certainly creates a problem, but it’s one that can be overcome, with the right attitude and mindset. Put another way, business owners succeeded before the advent of the web, and, those who are now growing do so making the most of what’s available. These entrepreneurs understand that ultimately, business is all about people, and, having the advice of an experienced professional does so much. The Big Benefits of Business Coaching You’ve heard about business coaching but might wonder why companies utilize their services. One advantage is gaining insight into what growing a company looks like from someone that’s been through the process time and again. Often times, companies lack experience in dealing with problems not faced before. They simply don’t know where to begin, or, what tack to take. Business coaching is not just for entrepreneurs with small to medium sized enterprises. In fact, studies have shown that over 58% of large corporations have expanded their use of business coaching over the last few years. Why? Because it works. —Enterprise Hub That’s a really a bad place to be and decisions made with uncertainty rarely have good outcomes. It’s not just fear that fells companies and alters their direction, but also, lack of preparation and not having an adequate, workable system in place. There are still more reasons companies benefit from business coaching, including the following: Organization and time management. A huge problem for most business owners is that so many things compete for their attention. That can easily lead to becoming disorganized, and, to poor time management. With someone helping to set priorities, schedules, and boundaries, a lot more will get done with the most important tackled at the right time, with limited distraction. Setting achievable goals to build momentum. One thing that can weigh down a business and get an entrepreneur stuck is lack of achievement. The reason material is taught in a incremental, tiered fashion, practically no matter the subject, is because it works. People are naturally motivated to reach other goals when they’ve had success. Sure, there is always the possibility of failure, but when it has a small impact, it’s a lot easier to overcome. Making team members accountable. A hobgoblin of business is one the wreaks havoc both subtly and overtly: little to no assigned accountability. For team members, as well as owners, to be truly productive, creative, and deliver their best, everyone in the organization needs to be held accountable. The trouble with this scenario is those on the inside usually have difficulty seeing the forest for the trees. Put another way, it’s hard to assign accountability to each team member because you’re dealing with personalities and emotions. A third party will have a much more clear view. Smart financial projecting and planning. It’s not easy to make financial projections and plan for the future when you’re trying to run a business. While you likely have a grasp on potential, there will be contingencies. Here again, having an experienced hand will take off pressure and keep you from diluting the numbers for a variety of reasons. Creating a better, more open environment. When everyone in the organization feels valued and is encouraged to contribute creatively, there’s a lot of good that will come as a result. Tapping into those resources must be done in a positive, proactive, and genuine way. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

Here are the 3 Biggest Self-Imposed Entrepreneurial Roadblocks

More often than not, the person in the mirror is the individual who is most to blame for your problems. Usually, lack of success isn’t due to external circumstances or a run of bad luck. Poor decisions are typically the culprit. And, these mostly come from the failure to recognize certain self-imposed roadblocks. How Modern Culture undermines Businesses Now, this doesn’t mean there are never any real externalities which play a significant role. Just take a quick look at modern culture. Practically everything is now on-demand. We live at a time where immediate gratification is normal. But, that’s a dangerous situation. Success is what every business person and entrepreneur desires from the very core of their being. They have a dream, a genius idea and an initial excitement to make it happen. Having a great idea and building a sustainable empire, however, are very different things and many, if not most, fail. To rank among those who succeed you must master certain disciplines to avoid sabotaging your own success. —Entrepreneur.com You first need to instill self-discipline and realize it’s more advantageous to accomplish your biggest goals in small steps. An incremental approach will cause you to think through scenarios and have a more clear understanding. However, just taking it step-by-step might not be enough. 3 Biggest Self-Imposed Entrepreneurial Roadblocks Let’s get back to how too many entrepreneurs sabotage themselves. They put up roadblocks which keep them from realizing their full potential. So, here’s the three most common self-imposed roadblocks you need to recognize and deal with: Not recognizing futility for what it is. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Wargames,” then you know the scene when Dr. Stephen Falken uses the example of tic-tac-toe to illustrate the importance of recognizing futility. But, that’s the exact opposite of what we hear time and time again. You’re not supposed to give up. Keep fighting and find a way. However, there are times when it’s just futile and you can’t win. Remember Einstein said repeating the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Seriously doubting your own abilities. This is perhaps the most common self-imposed roadblock. It’s natural to have reservations, even to feel fear and/or doubt. Although, too much doubt is a poison pill. It’s simply paralyzing and ultimately self-defeating to give into unrealistic doubts. Saying “Yes” when “No” is appropriate. We’ve all heard the advice to give things away for free or at little cost. Additionally, to always help others. But, saying “Yes,” can easily obstruct your ability to grow your business. After all, you need to focus on your own business to build it up before you can actually be in a position to help others do the same with their companies. What other self-imposed roadblocks have you overcome? How do you move past your own limitations? Please share your thoughts by commenting and joining the conversation! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Imagine Selling Your Business…

How Would Your Life Change?

You didn’t start your business just to stay busy—you built it to create freedom, security, and options for yourself and your family. Selling your business can be life-changing, but the real question is whether you’re intentionally building toward that outcome or simply leaving it to chance.

Sign up below for a free consultative session to learn what your business could be worth today and in the future! 

Thank you for your interest in learning what your business is worth. We will be in touch shortly.