Here’s Another Key Ingredient to Success — Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

“Stop comparing yourself to others!” Chance are excellent you’ve heard this advice more than once before. It might have been a parent, coach, a teacher, or even a friend. Okay, we all know this is true. Comparing yourself to others will inevitably lead to disappointment. But, we all fall into this trap and it isn’t helpful. So, how do you resist the feeling in the first place? Let’s take a look at how you can effectively stop comparing yourself to others.

If You Keep Comparing Yourself to Others, You’re Standing in the Way of Success

Before we get into the logistics, we’ll take a peek into what this actually does — it prevents you from succeeding. That’s right. Think about it. If you’re always comparing yourself to others, you keep moving the goal post.

Comparing yourself to others’ accomplishments is a losing battle. There is an endless supply of people to whom you could compare yourself and your accomplishments, but, inevitably, you’ll always end up on the losing side of the comparison. That’s because there will always be someone who has done something that you wished you could also accomplish. —Forbes.com

And, we all know what that means. So, doing this is essentially self-defeating. You can’t reach the goal if you keep moving it further away. It’s really that simple. Yet, it’s difficult to resist the urge because we all want to accomplish more.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Now, how do you stop comparing yourself to others? Sure, it sounds easy but it isn’t. Fortunately, there are ways to beat back the impulse:

  • Practice getting over your FOMO urge. FOMO or fear of missing out. It’s a good portion of what drives the success of social media giants like Facebook. People are always measuring their own lives up against others on social media. Take a break. For instance, don’t check social media for an entire weekend. Or, make your evenings social media free.
  • Look for commonalities, not differences. Instead of comparing yourself based on differences, try identifying commonalities. It will give you a level of reassurance, at the very least. It will also tell you that you are incumbents in some ways and boost your confidence.
  • Take a long, mindful trip down memory lane. One of the best ways not to compare yourself to others is to compare yourself to yourself. That’s right. The you of today is likely a great improvement of the you of the past.
  • Understand what you can and cannot change. Another way to stop comparing yourself to others is to understand and accept there are things you can change and things you cannot change. Doing so will certainly help you contextualize.

What other methods would you recommend to stop comparing yourself to others? Please share your thoughts and experience by commenting!

Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

These Two Words Reveal Bad Leadership Skills

Harry Truman once said, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” Ronald Reagan echoed that sentiment. JFK famously said, “…ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.” Taking credit, even when legitimately earned, doesn’t sit well with others. People often take it as pompous, even narcissistic. That’s because it simply comes across that way, even if you don’t mean it at all. That’s why two simple words can give you a glimpse into someone else’s leadership style. Language Reveals a Lot about Personality The two words that serve as warning signs of bad leadership are merely pronouns — “me” and “I.” Someone who repeatedly uses “me” and “I” are subtly (perhaps overtly) expressing their worldview. That’s right, he or she is the center around which everything revolves. Leadership is one of the most important factors determining the success of a company. Poor leadership can seriously affect employee morale and even cause the company’s bottom line to plunge. Bad leadership leads to poor employee retention and demotivates the remaining employees, causing them to be much less productive than they would otherwise be. —Houston Chronicle Small Business Okay, that’s cliche, but it exposes a hard truth. We don’t like to think of ourselves as selfish, so we also don’t like to apply that label to others. Though, when the behavior is egregious, it not only seems appropriate to think of as an undesirable quality, but almost a necessity to call out. 3 Devastatingly Poor Leadership Traits While there are certainly numerous bad leadership attributes, three are among the absolute worst. They undermine the very role of a leader. So, doing any one of them (or more) will only be counterproductive. Here three hurtful leadership characteristics to avoid all the time: Micromanaging. Unsurprisingly, this makes the top of the list. Micromanagers are among the most despised people because their behavior is completely counterproductive. Insisting on control of everything means there’s really no need for anyone else. It’s so hated, this trait ranks among the highest in dissatisfaction among people in survey after survey. It shows you have no confidence in anyone else. Plus, it proclaims you’re the only competent person in the workplace. Not recognizing others. This isn’t much different from micromanaging because it stirs up just about as much resentment. It shows a lack of care and regard for others. It also says that you have little respect for the work others work so hard to produce. If you aren’t encouraging others through recognition, you’re insulting them in more than one way. Failing to share information. When you aren’t transparent and open about what’s going on or what’s expected, you’re effectively sabotaging anyone without that information. “To be unclear is to be unkind” the saying goes. It speaks volumes because keeping too much too close to the vest shows a real lack of trust. Without trust, there’s no way to have a working relationship. What other signs tip you off to a bad leader? Please share your thoughts and experiences by commenting! Others can greatly benefit from what you have to contribute. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Is Crazy Creating Chaos in Your Company?

We all deal with crazy (read: difficult) people in life. They are rude, obnoxious, oblivious, pitiful, without fault, always victims, stir up drama, and what’s worse, don’t know so. You see, the problem with him or her is someone else besides he or she: another coworker, a family member, perhaps even you. As the head of an organization, no matter its size, you’re bound to run into crazy and what’s simply insane is the fact that you let them through the door in the first place. This is just one way business owners and managers rationalize a situation that’s spiraling out of control. “It’s a phase,” or “he or she just needs a little extra motivation.” Though these thoughts might bring a modicum of comfort, it will be short-lived. If you are faced with an employee that’s ultimately doing more harm than good, you’ve got to deal with the situation before it has time to inflict more damage.   Ways to Deal with Difficult Employees In most instances, people that behave this way aren’t at all aware of reality. While you and the rest of your team know it, the problem personality probably has a peculiar position. This is a moving or adaptable perception that assigns blame away from him or her. Of course, this makes things worse because he or she won’t be easily convinced as to what’s truly going on. Often, when an employee is difficult we stop paying attention to what’s actually going on. We’re irritated, it seems hopeless, and we’ve already decided what we think about the employee – so we just turn our attention to other things, out of a combination of avoidance and self-protection. But the best managers get very attentive when someone’s not doing well. They know their best shot at improving the situation lies in having the clearest possible understanding of the situation… —Forbes.com The very first thing you ought to do is to take stock of the dynamics. Put yourself in his or her shoes to try and gain some perspective. If that comes up short and doesn’t provide any tangible answers, you now know he or she is the real source of the problem. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to take crazy out of the company: Separate fact from friction. Yes, friction, as well as fiction. Friction between employees can easily lead to you taking sides because of your affinity for one over the other, which is where fiction comes into play. You should act on facts, not feelings, and not because of favorites. Don’t confuse performance with conduct. One rationalization for keeping problematic employees in the company is because of their so-called “redeeming qualities.” While he or she might well possess some great performance traits, it is his or her conduct that’s actually most important. What he or she might be producing individually could well be undermining his or her peers. Take time to listen and offer solutions. Should the person who brings crazy chaos into your company be a productive team member, you ought to try to invoke a turn-around. Go into a private place and ask if he or she is having any problems, then, tactfully offer solutions. If the response is knee-jerk or obtuse, it’s probably time for ultimatums. Lend a helping hand. Not your own, but someone within your organization you trust. This works best peer-to-peer, where coaching captures cooperation. Though this can work wonders, it can also become a tempting choice in the future. Don’t use it as the fallback position or you’ll simply be known for passing difficult personalities out for others to deal with. Ultimately, you are fighting to deal with a situation, not to win by wrangling control away. You want to create a solution, not to win an argument. If you do chose the latter, you are choosing to join in the craziness and even make the environment worse. Also, know when you’re at your limit, as not every situation can be resolved. There will be times when simply parting ways will be the best solution for you and your business. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

Tips for Holding Employees Accountable without Being Rude or Micromanaging Them

Tips for Holding Employees Accountable without Being Rude or Micromanaging Them Holding employees accountable is a vital aspect of effective leadership. However, finding the balance between accountability and maintaining a positive work environment can be challenging. Micromanaging or being rude can lead to demotivated employees and a toxic workplace. How Small Business Owners Can Effectively Hold Their Employees Accountable Again, holding employees accountable is an important part of being an owner or manager. It helps to ensure that employees are meeting expectations and that the team is on track to achieve its goals. Still, it is essential to hold employees accountable in a way that is respectful and does not micromanage them. Here are some tips for holding employees accountable without being rude or micromanaging them: Set clear expectations. Establish clear, specific, and measurable goals for each employee. When expectations are transparent, employees understand what is required of them, making it easier to hold them accountable. Discuss these expectations openly during meetings or performance reviews. Encourage ownership. Encourage employees to take ownership of their tasks and projects. When employees feel a sense of ownership, they are more likely to hold themselves accountable. Foster an environment where employees feel responsible for their work, and acknowledge their achievements and responsibilities. Communicate effectively. Open and honest communication is key. Provide regular feedback, both positive and constructive. Clearly communicate the impact of their work on the organization, emphasizing the importance of accountability for overall success. Listen actively to their concerns and be receptive to their feedback. Implement Key Performance Indicators (KPIs). Establish specific Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) that align with organizational objectives. Regularly monitor these KPIs and discuss progress with employees. This data-driven approach makes it easier to objectively assess performance and hold employees accountable for their results. Provide adequate resources. Ensure employees have the necessary resources, tools, and training to fulfill their responsibilities because a lack of resources can lead to unmet expectations. Regularly assess their needs and address any gaps promptly. Adequate resources empower employees to be accountable for their tasks. Encourage problem-solving. When issues arise, encourage employees to participate in problem-solving. Instead of imposing solutions, involve them in finding resolutions. This collaborative approach fosters accountability as employees take responsibility for implementing the solutions they propose. Recognize and reward accountability. Acknowledge and appreciate employees who demonstrate accountability. Publicly recognize their achievements and efforts. Rewards, both monetary and non-monetary, can motivate employees to maintain their accountable behavior. Celebrating accountability creates a positive reinforcement loop within the workplace. Lead by example. Leadership sets the tone for the entire organization. Demonstrate accountability in your actions and decisions. When employees see leaders taking responsibility, they are more likely to follow suit. Be transparent about your own challenges and how you overcome them, emphasizing the importance of accountability. Foster a supportive environment. Create a supportive work environment where employees feel comfortable asking for help or clarification. Encourage teamwork and collaboration. When employees feel supported, they are more likely to be accountable, knowing they can seek assistance when needed. Lastly, be sure to address accountability lapses, but do so professionally. If an employee consistently fails to meet expectations, address the issue professionally and respectfully. Schedule a private meeting to discuss concerns, providing specific examples of their behavior. Offer support and resources to help them improve. Approach the situation with empathy, understanding that everyone faces challenges. Right now, you can get John Waters’ latest book for FREE! (Currently selling for $19.95 on Amazon). This inspiring book titled “Profit by Design: The Blueprint to Successfully Scale Your Business and Regain Your Freedom” is a must-read for business owners who want to do just that! Request your FREE copy in any of the following ways: Phone 602-435-5474 Visit Waters Business Consulting Group Send a quick email: Steve@WatersBusinessConsulting.com

Read More »