Help! My Dad Retired from the Family Business Years Ago but Still Tries to Run It and It’s Causing a Lot of Problems

It can be difficult when a parent retires from their job within the family business but continues to act as if they are still in charge. They may make unnecessary demands or try to micro-manage things that are no longer their responsibility. This can cause tension and conflict among other family members who are trying to run the business smoothly. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. So, let’s discuss some tips for how to do that.

The “Unable to Let Go” Syndrome

Some people, be it a father, mother, or even another family member, who’s worked for long periods of time in a family business regard the company as part of their identity. It’s simply part of who they are and therefore, it’s not easy to walk away. It becomes even more difficult when handing the operation over to children, who don’t have all their years of experience.
One of the most agonizing experiences that any business faces is moving from one generation of top management to the next. The problem is often most acute in family businesses, where the original entrepreneur hangs on as he watches others try to help manage or take over his business, while at the same time, his heirs feel overshadowed and frustrated. Paralleling the stages of family power are stages of company growth or of stagnation, and the smoothness with which one kind of transition is made often has a direct effect on the success of the other. —Harvard Business Review
Unsurprisingly, this can easily lead to a father, mother, aunt, uncle, or even a cousin to hang around. Perhaps to the extent that he or she still continues to “run” the business, without the permission of their successors. He or she may make promises, enter into deals, or offer discounts that undermine the new authority of their successive family member(s). Of course, this can cause resentment, anger, frustration, and might also be the cause of unnecessary fighting and/or financial trouble.

How to Deal with a Parent Who Keeps Interloping in a Family Business After Retiring

Fortunately, if you’re in a situation where one or more of your family members has retired but still continues to interlope in the family business, there are steps you can take. First, you need to have a discussion with your parent about their role in the business now that they are retired. It is important to be respectful yet firm in this conversation. Explain to them that while you value their opinion, they need to respect the fact that you are now running the business. This means that they should not try to make decisions or give orders without consulting with you first. You may also want to set some ground rules about how often they can come into the office or participate in business meetings. It is also important to stay calm and avoid getting into arguments with your parent. If they continue to try and take control, it will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, try to have a rational and calm discussion about the situation. If necessary, you may need to involve other family members or even a mediator to help resolve the situation. Additionally, it may be necessary to speak privately with any customers who aren’t completely clear about who is actually running the company and who makes the decisions. This could help in the future with communication and in other important areas. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. By doing so, you can hopefully avoid conflict and maintain a healthy relationship with your parent. Have you ever dealt with this type of situation? What would you do to resolve it? Please take a moment to share your experiences and thoughts so others can benefit from your input. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

The Entrepreneurs Guide to Vacationing

If there’s one thing that successful entrepreneurs possess, it’s drive. The drive to start a business on a small scale and grow it to larger and larger proportions. The drive to make improvements and to learn from mistakes. The drive to encourage employees, professional associates, and friends to do their best and deliver on their promises. The drive to drive at practically everything, especially toward new goals. It’s hitting the brakes which often doesn’t come naturally. Though the idea of relaxing on a beach, hitting the ski slopes, or visiting a new destination might be intriguing and tempting, all can easily fall short because you won’t actually enjoy your vacation. Instead, you’ll be checking your smartphone and/or tablet, and might even phone-in now and again just to see what’s going on, and of course, to provide your sage advice. How to Take a Vacation from Your Business and Make It Work Why you ought to be concerned about your business while you’re away, you have to establish and respect some boundaries. It’s very difficult to put aside your business passion, but such a thing is absolutely necessary; and, it’s also quite healthy in more ways than one. While the human species is built, in-part, for work, it is also limited as to what it can handle. These are the reasons we feel tired after a day at work and why entertainment has risen to such a popular level for escape. Giving yourself permission to walk away from your company can be difficult. But if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your staff: When you take vacation time, you’re setting a good example. —Entrepreneur.com Of course, such an escape can not only come from sports, books, television, and the like, but also from vacation. Some business owners actually go on vacation and never really leave their businesses, which is the definition of waste. When you consider the fact that someone would make plans, pay for travel and lodging, along with other expenses and not truly enjoy their time off, it makes the whole affair more costly and more unhealthy. I had a partner, in a previous business, who one time proclaimed with some sense of pride and peppered with a bit hint of martyr … “I HAVEN’T TAKEN A DAY OFF IN 5 YEARS”. Needless-to-say, he was and is a very hard worker, but reports from his remaining staff say the environment is like a “Salt Mine”! Everyone needs a break from work and that certainly includes business owners. When you start and build a company, it’s only natural to want to stay the course and keep your hands on the wheel. After all, the business wouldn’t exist without you and it wouldn’t be able to grow if you weren’t there. Though it might be difficult to take time off, it’s necessary and there are things you can do to take a vacation from your business and make the most of it:   Have an action plan in-place. This isn’t a plan for you, but those who stay behind to run the business. It seems that Murphy’s Law takes effect the moment you aren’t present, so, have at least one contingency plan but don’t make it complicated. It should be easy to follow and simple. Know that you’ve invested in the right people. Your employees were likely hand-picked by you and this is a great time to see how well you chose your team members. Of course, there’s probably one who is a natural leader and who knows the business well to leave in-charge while you’re away. Disconnect from the day-to-day. You might check-in very briefly on a weekly basis, and that’s acceptable; but don’t give into the temptation of running your business from a distance. In our time, technology allows us to connect at any time and share information in moments. Those moments are just too precious and you need to disconnect. Put your family first. Okay, so your conscience is telling you that you work too much, too long, and don’t spend enough time with your family but you don’t change. This is the time when you can spend quality time and create wonderful memories. I have a client who hired my company in 2011 to help his retail business during the rough economic recession. He said that he was at his limit, and was ready to “throw in the towel”. Besides helping this client to recover, improve sales, cash flow, moral and pay down past debt and taxes, our Client wanted more time off with his family and vacations. The time off and vacations appeared to be a distant goal given the carnage left from simply trying to survive the recession, but we developed a strategy and took action weekly to clear up the past taxes and debt while helping him pursue his goal of time off and vacations. In 2013 he took time off and this motivated him to do it again. In 2014, our Client planned a family vacation for the summer. So, we helped our Client plan out and detail the specific and critical business metrics that needed to be managed by each of his team while he was gone. My Client reviewed this plan and his expectations on the metrics and operations protocol (i.e. Leads, Sales, Cash Receipts per Day, Deliveries, Installations, Service, and how to handle emergencies) with his Team. When he returned from his vacation, I asked; “how was your vacation and how did your team handle your being away for 10 days?” His response, “this was one of the best family vacations I’ve had in a long, long time, and there were very few issues while I was gone … I am looking forward to doing it again”. My Client took another week in Montana in the fall of that year, and 2014 ended up a record year in sales all while he built a team that will continue to allow him more vacations and time off

Read More »

How to Deal with a Business Partnership that’s Going Bad

Business partnerships are often formed with high hopes and mutual goals. However, sometimes partnerships encounter challenges and start to go sour. Dealing with a failing business partnership can be emotionally and professionally challenging, but it’s essential to address the issues head-on and explore potential solutions. How to Deal with a Business Partnership that’s Going Bad Since this is such an important issue, we’ll provide some advice on how to navigate a deteriorating business partnership, including strategies to address problems and steps to take if the partnership cannot be salvaged. Communication is key. Effective communication is the foundation for resolving issues in a failing business partnership. Schedule a dedicated meeting to openly discuss concerns, frustrations, and areas of disagreement. Allow each party to express their thoughts and actively listen to understand the other’s perspective. Create a safe and respectful environment that encourages honest dialogue and promotes problem-solving rather than blame. Identify the root causes. To address the problems in your partnership, it’s crucial to identify the underlying causes. Pinpoint specific issues or challenges that are affecting the partnership’s success. These may include differing visions, incompatible work styles, misaligned goals, or a lack of trust. By identifying the root causes, you can develop targeted strategies to overcome or mitigate them. Seek mediation or professional help. If communication alone doesn’t resolve the issues, consider engaging a neutral third party, such as a mediator or business consultant, to facilitate constructive discussions. A skilled mediator can help navigate difficult conversations, find common ground, and offer unbiased guidance. Additionally, seeking advice from an experienced business coach or consultant can provide an objective perspective and help identify strategies to improve the partnership dynamics. Renegotiate terms and roles. If the partnership is salvageable, it may be necessary to renegotiate the terms and roles to address the identified issues. This could involve revisiting the partnership agreement, clearly defining responsibilities, and setting realistic expectations. It’s crucial to find a compromise that considers the needs and aspirations of both parties, ensuring a fair and balanced arrangement moving forward. Establish a clear communication and conflict resolution protocol. To prevent future conflicts or misunderstandings, establish a clear communication and conflict resolution protocol within the partnership. Define guidelines for regular check-ins, decision-making processes, and conflict resolution mechanisms. This creates a framework for addressing issues promptly and constructively, fostering a healthier partnership dynamic. Consider an amicable dissolution. Despite efforts to resolve the issues, there may be instances where the partnership is no longer viable. In such cases, it’s important to consider an amicable dissolution. Evaluate the financial and legal implications of ending the partnership and consult with an attorney if necessary. Develop a plan to separate assets, liabilities, and ongoing responsibilities in a fair and equitable manner. Learn from you experience and move on. If the partnership fails, it’s essential to view it as a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. Reflect on the lessons learned, including the warning signs that led to the partnership’s deterioration. Take the knowledge gained and apply it to future endeavors, ensuring better decision-making and partner selection processes moving forward. Dealing with a failing business partnership can be challenging, but addressing the issues directly and honestly is crucial to finding a resolution. Effective communication, identification of root causes, seeking professional help if needed, renegotiating terms, and establishing clear protocols can potentially salvage a partnership. However, if the partnership cannot be salvaged, an amicable dissolution may be the best option. Remember to learn from the experience and use it as a stepping stone for future business endeavors. Ultimately, the key is to prioritize open communication, respect, and the long-term success of all parties involved. What other suggestions do you have for dealing with a business partnership that’s going bad? Please take a moment or two to comment with your own thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your perspective! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group to learn more about us and the services we offer.

Read More »

Imagine Selling Your Business…

How Would Your Life Change?

You didn’t start your business just to stay busy—you built it to create freedom, security, and options for yourself and your family. Selling your business can be life-changing, but the real question is whether you’re intentionally building toward that outcome or simply leaving it to chance.

Sign up below for a free consultative session to learn what your business could be worth today and in the future! 

Thank you for your interest in learning what your business is worth. We will be in touch shortly.