Help! My Dad Retired from the Family Business Years Ago but Still Tries to Run It and It’s Causing a Lot of Problems

It can be difficult when a parent retires from their job within the family business but continues to act as if they are still in charge. They may make unnecessary demands or try to micro-manage things that are no longer their responsibility. This can cause tension and conflict among other family members who are trying to run the business smoothly. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. So, let’s discuss some tips for how to do that.

The “Unable to Let Go” Syndrome

Some people, be it a father, mother, or even another family member, who’s worked for long periods of time in a family business regard the company as part of their identity. It’s simply part of who they are and therefore, it’s not easy to walk away. It becomes even more difficult when handing the operation over to children, who don’t have all their years of experience.
One of the most agonizing experiences that any business faces is moving from one generation of top management to the next. The problem is often most acute in family businesses, where the original entrepreneur hangs on as he watches others try to help manage or take over his business, while at the same time, his heirs feel overshadowed and frustrated. Paralleling the stages of family power are stages of company growth or of stagnation, and the smoothness with which one kind of transition is made often has a direct effect on the success of the other. —Harvard Business Review
Unsurprisingly, this can easily lead to a father, mother, aunt, uncle, or even a cousin to hang around. Perhaps to the extent that he or she still continues to “run” the business, without the permission of their successors. He or she may make promises, enter into deals, or offer discounts that undermine the new authority of their successive family member(s). Of course, this can cause resentment, anger, frustration, and might also be the cause of unnecessary fighting and/or financial trouble.

How to Deal with a Parent Who Keeps Interloping in a Family Business After Retiring

Fortunately, if you’re in a situation where one or more of your family members has retired but still continues to interlope in the family business, there are steps you can take. First, you need to have a discussion with your parent about their role in the business now that they are retired. It is important to be respectful yet firm in this conversation. Explain to them that while you value their opinion, they need to respect the fact that you are now running the business. This means that they should not try to make decisions or give orders without consulting with you first. You may also want to set some ground rules about how often they can come into the office or participate in business meetings. It is also important to stay calm and avoid getting into arguments with your parent. If they continue to try and take control, it will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, try to have a rational and calm discussion about the situation. If necessary, you may need to involve other family members or even a mediator to help resolve the situation. Additionally, it may be necessary to speak privately with any customers who aren’t completely clear about who is actually running the company and who makes the decisions. This could help in the future with communication and in other important areas. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. By doing so, you can hopefully avoid conflict and maintain a healthy relationship with your parent. Have you ever dealt with this type of situation? What would you do to resolve it? Please take a moment to share your experiences and thoughts so others can benefit from your input. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

How to Avoid the Prisoner’s Dilemma Business Trap

The prisoner’s dilemma is a simple principle that explains a very inconvenient paradox. That being, when two or more people are in competition to reach the same goal, instead of working together, they’ll more often make self-serving or sub-optimal choices to their desired end. In other words, they won’t work as a team, attempting to obtain the same result, but rather, as mutual competitors. When this happens, it can easily lead to unhealthy competition, jealousy, infighting, and poor company morale. Fortunately, there are a few effective strategies to cope with such situations. What Causes the Prisoner’s Dilemma in Business Named for a scenario to explain why prisoners do not routinely rise up against the guards of a penitentiary, the prisoner’s dilemma attempts to define why it is that inmates don’t rally together to overtake the facility in order to ultimately escape. (After all, they greatly outnumber the guards and other staff.) …a teaming mindset must be adopted on purpose. Team leaders must paint success in the team as something shared and expansive. Because seeing success this way is rarely spontaneous, leaders have to go out of their way to convey — to sell, really — the upside of collaborative work. The message must be that success can be greater and more exciting when people work together. When this is done well, team members tend to focus more on the work than on themselves. They also focus on what the work means for the company’s value proposition — for their customers. —Harvard Business Review The reason behind it is simple — while everyone might be ostensibly working toward the same goal, that is taking over and breaking out of the prison, each person will act in their own individual best interest — this ultimately leads to chaos and of course, makes the end goal of escaping nearly impossible. Effective Strategies for Dealing with the Prisoner’s Dilemma in Business You might have noticed this dynamic working out among your sales team or any given group of employees. They seem to be in a constant state of competition, even to the point of harming your company’s overall goals. The good news is there are ways to deal with such scenarios, like the following: Encourage healthy discussions. Although some individuals seemingly always do what’s only in their self-interest, very few will continue such behavior if they know that it’s counterproductive to their future. During sales meetings, come up with common strategies that everyone can agree to follow and put everyone on the same path toward your desired goals. Scrutinize potential hires. If someone has a very impressive track record, but hops from one company to another, that’s obviously a red flag. So, listen carefully during the interview process for attitudes that convey job dissatisfaction, unhealthy competition with previous employees/employers, and other negative perspectives and emotions. Such individuals will tell you in not-so-subtle ways that they don’t work well with others. Reward genuine teamwork. Ronald Reagan copied a famous inspirational phrase by repeating this sentiment, “It’s amazing what can be accomplished when nobody cares who gets the credit.” This is very difficult for any group, especially those in a competitive environment. But, if you reward everyone involved for working as a team to reach their goals, you reinforce positive behaviors. What other suggestions do you have? Please take a moment to comment and share your thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your unique perspective! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Effective Ways to Deal with an Unpredictable Schedule

An unpredictable schedule is a chaotic one. And, it can confuse and/or frustrate anyone who experiences such uncertainty. After all, it’s better to know what’s coming and have a heads-up, in order to be prepared. But, that’s not always the case and it can wreak havoc psychologically and emotionally. Eventually, an unpredictable schedule can lead to total burnout. So, read on to learn some of the best ways to cope and take control of an otherwise unpredictable schedule. Chaos is Counterproductive Some entrepreneurs claim they really like uncertainty and the surprises associated with “going with the flow.” At least, they may say this to others, but when it comes down to it, aren’t very keen on unpredictable schedules. They’d much rather have their days planned out in order to maximize their productivity and budget their time wisely. These things can’t really be accomplished when schedules fluctuate too much. It’s just not feasible to effectively plan and execute when every little thing is completely on-the-fly. Workers at the top and bottom of the economic spectrum feel the loss of control dearly, and technology is often the culprit. Whether it’s a buzzing smartphone or software that tracks our whereabouts, the more hard to predict our schedules become, the less real flexibility many of us have. —Harvard Business Review Although this may work in a micro sense, like during the course of an ordinary day that’s gone a bit awry, or during free time, such as vacation, a truly unpredictable schedule is tumultuous. And this breeds confusion, anxiety, as well as a sense of being out of control. Those simply aren’t good emotions to experience while running a business, so it’s necessary to make adjustments in order to produce a more predictable schedule. Effective Ways to Deal with an Unpredictable Schedule The business owners who succeed not only have a vision, but an actionable plan to follow. Of course, it’s not possible to plan out every scenario. But, it is advantageous to take as much control as you can. Fortunately, there are effective strategies for dealing with an unpredictable schedule: Structure your non-work day. The very first thing you need to do is begin structuring your non-work time. While this might seem strange, it helps you to build a healthy habit and there’s no better place to start than your non-working days, which are often free-for-all situations. If you can put even a loose schedule to your non-working days, you can most certainly do that in the office or out on the road. Establish work-related boundaries. One of the most difficult things for any entrepreneur to do is establish boundaries between their free time and their work time. Business owners, by their very nature, are concerned about their companies well-being and take every opportunity to ensure that it’s running properly. But, this all too frequently leaves to work intruding into free time, which can severely detract from personal relationships, particularly when it comes to spouses and children. So, set boundaries for your work and personal times in order to maintain a healthy balance. Allow for work flexibility and continuity. If your schedule changes quite substantially from day to day, that’s okay too. Instead of scheduling and entire day from one appointment or task to another, set aside blocks of time and prioritize accordingly. This way, you’ll be able to accomplish what you most need to, when you are able, instead of trying to pound a square peg into a round hole. Reward yourself when you accomplish goals. As always, it’s a good idea to reward yourself when you accomplish a goal, be it big or small. Part of the process can be redefining or redesigning your schedule to be more predictable and therefore, allow you to be more productive. What other suggestions do you have? Please take a few minutes to share your own thoughts and feelings so that others can benefit from your experiences and perspective! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

How to Fire a Client

Every entrepreneur will eventually fire an employee or severe a relationship with a supplier or vendor. These are the most common scenarios we associate with pink slips and the practice of doing business. However, there’s another we don’t often think about, or, only privately suffer because it’s difficult to own-up to a mistake. In this particular situation, you’ll have to fire a client and it can be very difficult to face. You must consider the financial impact, and, the dynamics [read: pain point] it will unleash on your business in the aftermath. You might be confronted with a negative review, an unpleasant back-and-forth, or even a total disruption of your business workplace. Ways to Fire a Client With the new year fast approaching, you’ve probably begun to focus on your personal and professional resolutions. One of them could very well be to purge toxic relationships, which include bad clients. These can be individuals who love to demand rather than delegate, micromanage work to the point there’s no real point someone else does any of it, insists on rushing which compromises quality, or other detrimental behaviors. When you are just getting started with your business, you’re probably willing to work with any and every client who comes your way. However, not every client is a good one. The emotional, physical, and mental drain caused by a bad client relationship can keep you from enjoying your job and negatively impact the work you do for other clients. At times, the best way to grow your business is to let go of those clients who are holding you back. —Forbes.com It could be a well paying client who has a penchant to promote pandemonium, one who expects deep discounts but superior work quality, wastes your time without remorse or even any acknowledgement of it. You know who he or she is because you dread any contact and even the sight mention of his or her name is enough to make you cringe. Still, you put-up with their bad conduct because you feel a sense of loyalty. So, how are to you end such a relationship? Start with some genuine, introspective soul-searching. Is it something that you’re taking offense to that’s more about your personality? Are you contributing to the chaos with your own behavior? If you’re honestly not part of the problem, then try to resolve the situation first. Approach it subtly, but earnestly, and see what happens. If this doesn’t work, there are ways to fire a client and depending on the situation, one will probably be the best solution: Inform the client you are refocusing your efforts. Every new entrepreneur will accept any type of work when first starting out, even if it’s not a strong-suit. At this early juncture, revenue flow is a top priority. However, it undermines and erodes the relationship over time. Use this to your advantage and explain how you are not serving his or her best interest. Point this out and gracefully bow-out. Announce to the client you have to raise your rates. Money is a big deal — make no mistake about it. You know it to be true as does the professional who’s always espousing the healthy attributes of professional relationships, giving back to the community, good will, and the like. While those are indeed wonderful things, money is a practical part of business and announcing you’re raising your rates might just be the nudge which sets you free. Give him or her options for other service providers. Explain you are moving in a direction to serve a specific subset of your clientele. Along with it, give him or her options, recommending different competitors. Manage his or her expectations by providing actionable steps. Some clients will resist ending the relationship at nearly any cost. They’ll make promises about changing their behavior, bringing you more business, or other saving graces. Since you want to sever the relationship cleanly and permanently, provide a list of actionable steps he or she can take without your assistance. If you aren’t necessarily dealing with a problem client, just one who is no longer profitable, but still pays on-time and is good-natured, speak with less expensive, alternative service providers and give them the business. This creates a win-win scenario for all parties. In my past businesses and as a business consultant and coach, I have experience in each of these circumstances with customers and clients. I have found that the best approach is an honest approach with a strong dose of caring and encouragement. So, what customers will you fire or have that crucial conversation with in 2016? Want to find out about what a business coach can do for you? [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »