Help! My Dad Retired from the Family Business Years Ago but Still Tries to Run It and It’s Causing a Lot of Problems

It can be difficult when a parent retires from their job within the family business but continues to act as if they are still in charge. They may make unnecessary demands or try to micro-manage things that are no longer their responsibility. This can cause tension and conflict among other family members who are trying to run the business smoothly. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. So, let’s discuss some tips for how to do that.

The “Unable to Let Go” Syndrome

Some people, be it a father, mother, or even another family member, who’s worked for long periods of time in a family business regard the company as part of their identity. It’s simply part of who they are and therefore, it’s not easy to walk away. It becomes even more difficult when handing the operation over to children, who don’t have all their years of experience.
One of the most agonizing experiences that any business faces is moving from one generation of top management to the next. The problem is often most acute in family businesses, where the original entrepreneur hangs on as he watches others try to help manage or take over his business, while at the same time, his heirs feel overshadowed and frustrated. Paralleling the stages of family power are stages of company growth or of stagnation, and the smoothness with which one kind of transition is made often has a direct effect on the success of the other. —Harvard Business Review
Unsurprisingly, this can easily lead to a father, mother, aunt, uncle, or even a cousin to hang around. Perhaps to the extent that he or she still continues to “run” the business, without the permission of their successors. He or she may make promises, enter into deals, or offer discounts that undermine the new authority of their successive family member(s). Of course, this can cause resentment, anger, frustration, and might also be the cause of unnecessary fighting and/or financial trouble.

How to Deal with a Parent Who Keeps Interloping in a Family Business After Retiring

Fortunately, if you’re in a situation where one or more of your family members has retired but still continues to interlope in the family business, there are steps you can take. First, you need to have a discussion with your parent about their role in the business now that they are retired. It is important to be respectful yet firm in this conversation. Explain to them that while you value their opinion, they need to respect the fact that you are now running the business. This means that they should not try to make decisions or give orders without consulting with you first. You may also want to set some ground rules about how often they can come into the office or participate in business meetings. It is also important to stay calm and avoid getting into arguments with your parent. If they continue to try and take control, it will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, try to have a rational and calm discussion about the situation. If necessary, you may need to involve other family members or even a mediator to help resolve the situation. Additionally, it may be necessary to speak privately with any customers who aren’t completely clear about who is actually running the company and who makes the decisions. This could help in the future with communication and in other important areas. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. By doing so, you can hopefully avoid conflict and maintain a healthy relationship with your parent. Have you ever dealt with this type of situation? What would you do to resolve it? Please take a moment to share your experiences and thoughts so others can benefit from your input. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

How to Move Past a Bad Business Policy

May 16, 2017 No Comments

You identified a problem, took action, and enacted a new policy. Your people don’t like it (read: hate it), and, now you’re dealing with the fallout. It’s not an enviable position to be in, but nonetheless, here you are and now, you have to take action–again. The advice you’ve long heard about learning from your mistakes is now a reality, and, you are willing and able to accept it. The problem is how to move past a bad business policy and avoid repeating the same mistake in the future. Though you know this one backfired, you can’t be sure of how other policies you enact moving forward will impact your team and your business at-large. It’s okay to be retrospective and to attempt to peer around the corner, but for now, what you really need is to make things right. How to Move Past a Bad Business Policy The very fact that you are willing to recognize you made a mistake is a positive sign. However, you might still have a problem to deal with and you don’t want Murphy walking back into your organization, wielding his rule which states, “every solution breeds new problems.” You’ve already seen that unfold and it should have phased you enough to make a change. …we hate to fail. We fear it, we dread it, and when it does happen, we hold onto it. We give it power over our emotions, and sometimes we allow it to dictate our way forward (or backward). Some of us go to great lengths to avoid failure because of all the pain and shame associated with it. —Forbes It’s also good that you’re self-aware enough to accept the blame instead of digging in and defending what you’ve done, which will only insult your team members. So, how do you prevent this from happening again, but, still be able to enact policies that don’t end-up backfiring? Here are some helpful bits of advice you can use: Don’t be afraid to admit you made a mistake. This bears repeating, and, it does so big time. There’s little else more damaging than a leader who won’t admit he or she is wrong. It’s arrogant, harmful, and can cause good people to leave. In fact, the best thing to do is to have a sit down with your employees and others and talk about how you arrived at the decision, why it was wrong, and, how you plan to resolve the situation. Identify the problem and be proactive. Speaking of resolving the situation, you’re inevitably going to face problems again, so, before they have a chance to materialize, do what you can to thwart them. This won’t necessarily be easy, but your intuition will tell you when something is about to become a problem. Get ideas from your team about solutions. Your team members are among your most valuable assets. Don’t go it alone, speak openly with them and listen to their suggestions. You’ll likely find that doing so will present many ideas which can be molded together for a solution. Avoid new policies that create new problems. This is more difficult than you might think, but it’s still possible. Before you do enact a new policy, think about what it will do and how it will be received by your team. If you play it out and identify possible result scenarios, you can usually avoid making another bad policy. In my 34 years of business experience with ownership in 9 different businesses and consulting/coaching with hundreds of business owners, I have a long list of bad business policies that I have made. All of the policies well intended, but many times not fully thought through. My greatest lesson in making policies, is that hiring the right people with the right core values will minimize the policies that seem necessary to police and hold your team accountable. Those employees with the right core values will do what is right almost all of the time, thereby eliminating the need for many policies. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

Accomplish Your Biggest Goals in Small Steps

May 16, 2017 No Comments

You’ve probably heard the way to eat an elephant is to take one bite at a time. In business this is fundamental because it decidedly identifies the road to success. This road, it should be well understood, isn’t an easy path and will have plenty of bumps along the way. These setbacks, or failures, are excellent parts of the learning curve and are typically more valuable than successes. Savvy entrepreneurs embrace this truth and use it in a strategic way. Some of the largest and oldest companies were born from simple ideas. These giants grew from obscurity, not because of all they offer, but because each accomplished a goal which made them instrumental to the world of commerce. In 1939, after many frustrating years, inventor Charles Goodyear discovered the process of vulcanization. Though the legendary achievement is etched in history, the backstory is quite telling. Goodyear spent years trying to turn his concept into reality. He went dead broke and into extreme debt, yet endured and persisted on one single goal. How to Accomplish Your Biggest Goals in Small Steps Of course not every entrepreneur suffers such extreme adversity. It’s true that the majority of businesses do experience fits and starts but overcome and go on to achieve enough to turn a respectable profit. The way this happens is through a series of phases which include periodic cycles of failures. These aren’t due to lack of motivation, not being smart or talented enough, but the result of trying to accomplish too many things at once. When people set out to begin a major work project or adopt a healthier lifestyle, it’s easy to become discouraged when picturing the long road ahead. By the same token, even smaller-scale plans like keeping a medical appointment or a standing date to the gym can become easily derailed by the busyness of our daily lives or a simple aversion to the doctor or the treadmill. —The Wharton School Let’s get back to how to eat an elephant. The key to tackling any big goal is to do so in a smart and workable manner. Though most people understand reaching a goal takes time, their enthusiasm causes over-reach and that’s when things start to go wrong. You just can’t do six things at once and expect to master all of them. Too many directions, which is to say too many projects, is a recipe for failure. So, the key to success is the opposite — do one thing at a time. Here’s how to accomplish your biggest goal in small steps: Set a big goal to reach. The first step is to set a realistic goal. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big but these can be too large to reach before feeling discouraged. One of the reasons entrepreneurs achieve success is they have a vision that’s focused and workable. Identify a realistic path to take. Another component to achieving your big goal is to map out a realistic path to take. Break the process down into phases —these don’t have to include every possible detail or include all contingencies. Martin Luther King remarked on this when he said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Start with one small, incremental step. You’ve probably heard different adages about the first step being the hardest. It’s true and to feel a sense of accomplishment while building momentum, the first step ought to be small. Take a moment to reflect the accomplishment. After each incremental step or phase is complete, take time to reflect on your accomplishment. The sense of pride is inspiring, and it reinforces your self confidence. With every step and phase completion, you can look toward your ultimate goal but stay focused on the here and now. This will help to motivate you and it’s a great way to appreciate your hard work. As a side note, it would be an honor to help out my LinkedIn connections with their business. At minimum, I’d love to connect and be in touch. We can do this by you signing up & getting my Top 5 Business Tips each month; and it’s free! May Your Business Succeed Beyond Your Dreams! ~Best, John Waters Want to find out about what a business coach can do for you? [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »