Help! My Dad Retired from the Family Business Years Ago but Still Tries to Run It and It’s Causing a Lot of Problems

It can be difficult when a parent retires from their job within the family business but continues to act as if they are still in charge. They may make unnecessary demands or try to micro-manage things that are no longer their responsibility. This can cause tension and conflict among other family members who are trying to run the business smoothly. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. So, let’s discuss some tips for how to do that.

The “Unable to Let Go” Syndrome

Some people, be it a father, mother, or even another family member, who’s worked for long periods of time in a family business regard the company as part of their identity. It’s simply part of who they are and therefore, it’s not easy to walk away. It becomes even more difficult when handing the operation over to children, who don’t have all their years of experience.
One of the most agonizing experiences that any business faces is moving from one generation of top management to the next. The problem is often most acute in family businesses, where the original entrepreneur hangs on as he watches others try to help manage or take over his business, while at the same time, his heirs feel overshadowed and frustrated. Paralleling the stages of family power are stages of company growth or of stagnation, and the smoothness with which one kind of transition is made often has a direct effect on the success of the other. —Harvard Business Review
Unsurprisingly, this can easily lead to a father, mother, aunt, uncle, or even a cousin to hang around. Perhaps to the extent that he or she still continues to “run” the business, without the permission of their successors. He or she may make promises, enter into deals, or offer discounts that undermine the new authority of their successive family member(s). Of course, this can cause resentment, anger, frustration, and might also be the cause of unnecessary fighting and/or financial trouble.

How to Deal with a Parent Who Keeps Interloping in a Family Business After Retiring

Fortunately, if you’re in a situation where one or more of your family members has retired but still continues to interlope in the family business, there are steps you can take. First, you need to have a discussion with your parent about their role in the business now that they are retired. It is important to be respectful yet firm in this conversation. Explain to them that while you value their opinion, they need to respect the fact that you are now running the business. This means that they should not try to make decisions or give orders without consulting with you first. You may also want to set some ground rules about how often they can come into the office or participate in business meetings. It is also important to stay calm and avoid getting into arguments with your parent. If they continue to try and take control, it will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, try to have a rational and calm discussion about the situation. If necessary, you may need to involve other family members or even a mediator to help resolve the situation. Additionally, it may be necessary to speak privately with any customers who aren’t completely clear about who is actually running the company and who makes the decisions. This could help in the future with communication and in other important areas. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. By doing so, you can hopefully avoid conflict and maintain a healthy relationship with your parent. Have you ever dealt with this type of situation? What would you do to resolve it? Please take a moment to share your experiences and thoughts so others can benefit from your input. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

Here’s the Big Lesson from the Mark Zuckerberg Apology Tour

Mark Zuckerberg is generating a lot of headlines. It’s too early yet to know if the old cliché “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” will eventually apply. But, what we definitely know is this is a company with too much going on at one time. Now, the merits of the scandal are in hot debate. On one hand, it’s a new practice but some marketers have come forward to explain this is just business-as-usual. Regardless, it’s started a conversation about privacy, advertising practices, and personal information security. However, this only touches the surface of the real problem — Facebook is too big. The Facebook-Google Duopoly Example Over the past few years, there’s been a lot of talk about the Google-Facebook duopoly. Now, it’s more apparent than ever these two companies are the center of the internet. Even more important is what this teaches us. Both companies are currently under heavy scrutiny — a result of their massive scales. Each company is far more than their core missions. Google is part of Alphabet, a huge conglomerate. As for Facebook, it owns Instagram, WhatsApp, Oculus, and more. Getting bigger means that you need to get more organized. Working fast and loose may have been fine for your small team of superstars, but it won’t work as well with a bigger group. As your ranks grow and positions that were filled by individuals transform into teams of people, the need to stay organized becomes amplified. —Inc.com The point here is Google is not just a search engine. Nor is Facebook only a social media network. Both are a lot more. Now, let’s distill this down to the world of small business. It’s only natural to grow and expand into new territory. The question is, when does that compromise the company’s core? In other words, growth isn’t always a good thing. How to Get Back to Business Basics One critical lesson here is the fact that when a business grows, does it grow to meet the needs of its customers? Or, does it expand to other areas for the sake of chasing profit. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with adding new revenue streams. But, there is something very wrong about letting it harm core competency. Here’s a few suggestions for how to get back to business basics: Listen to your customers. More customers are one sign that your business is growing. As your customer base increases, it becomes more and more difficult to stay in-touch. So, start listening in earnest again. There are several ways to do this beyond personal interaction, if necessary. Surveys, email, and more are valuable resources. Give your team a real voice. Just because your business is larger doesn’t mean that you need to only rely on a few key people. Chances are excellent, there are team members under management who have valuable input. Solicit from them periodically and take their insight to heart. Purge all the extra stuff. When a company grows beyond its initial offerings, it breaks its old parameters. Which means often journeying out to untested waters. Problems inevitably ensue. So, stop trying to force what’s not working and let it go. Get an outside perspective. Companies can easily lose sight of their identity. If a random person can’t immediately identify what your company does, or names off a bunch of things confusingly, that’s a bad sign. Bring in an experienced business coach to give you that much-needed outside perspective. Have you experienced a time when you needed to get back to basics? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences by joining the conversation! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

How to Move Past a Bad Business Policy

You identified a problem, took action, and enacted a new policy. Your people don’t like it (read: hate it), and, now you’re dealing with the fallout. It’s not an enviable position to be in, but nonetheless, here you are and now, you have to take action–again. The advice you’ve long heard about learning from your mistakes is now a reality, and, you are willing and able to accept it. The problem is how to move past a bad business policy and avoid repeating the same mistake in the future. Though you know this one backfired, you can’t be sure of how other policies you enact moving forward will impact your team and your business at-large. It’s okay to be retrospective and to attempt to peer around the corner, but for now, what you really need is to make things right. How to Move Past a Bad Business Policy The very fact that you are willing to recognize you made a mistake is a positive sign. However, you might still have a problem to deal with and you don’t want Murphy walking back into your organization, wielding his rule which states, “every solution breeds new problems.” You’ve already seen that unfold and it should have phased you enough to make a change. …we hate to fail. We fear it, we dread it, and when it does happen, we hold onto it. We give it power over our emotions, and sometimes we allow it to dictate our way forward (or backward). Some of us go to great lengths to avoid failure because of all the pain and shame associated with it. —Forbes It’s also good that you’re self-aware enough to accept the blame instead of digging in and defending what you’ve done, which will only insult your team members. So, how do you prevent this from happening again, but, still be able to enact policies that don’t end-up backfiring? Here are some helpful bits of advice you can use: Don’t be afraid to admit you made a mistake. This bears repeating, and, it does so big time. There’s little else more damaging than a leader who won’t admit he or she is wrong. It’s arrogant, harmful, and can cause good people to leave. In fact, the best thing to do is to have a sit down with your employees and others and talk about how you arrived at the decision, why it was wrong, and, how you plan to resolve the situation. Identify the problem and be proactive. Speaking of resolving the situation, you’re inevitably going to face problems again, so, before they have a chance to materialize, do what you can to thwart them. This won’t necessarily be easy, but your intuition will tell you when something is about to become a problem. Get ideas from your team about solutions. Your team members are among your most valuable assets. Don’t go it alone, speak openly with them and listen to their suggestions. You’ll likely find that doing so will present many ideas which can be molded together for a solution. Avoid new policies that create new problems. This is more difficult than you might think, but it’s still possible. Before you do enact a new policy, think about what it will do and how it will be received by your team. If you play it out and identify possible result scenarios, you can usually avoid making another bad policy. In my 34 years of business experience with ownership in 9 different businesses and consulting/coaching with hundreds of business owners, I have a long list of bad business policies that I have made. All of the policies well intended, but many times not fully thought through. My greatest lesson in making policies, is that hiring the right people with the right core values will minimize the policies that seem necessary to police and hold your team accountable. Those employees with the right core values will do what is right almost all of the time, thereby eliminating the need for many policies. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »