Help! My Dad Retired from the Family Business Years Ago but Still Tries to Run It and It’s Causing a Lot of Problems

It can be difficult when a parent retires from their job within the family business but continues to act as if they are still in charge. They may make unnecessary demands or try to micro-manage things that are no longer their responsibility. This can cause tension and conflict among other family members who are trying to run the business smoothly. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. So, let’s discuss some tips for how to do that.

The “Unable to Let Go” Syndrome

Some people, be it a father, mother, or even another family member, who’s worked for long periods of time in a family business regard the company as part of their identity. It’s simply part of who they are and therefore, it’s not easy to walk away. It becomes even more difficult when handing the operation over to children, who don’t have all their years of experience.
One of the most agonizing experiences that any business faces is moving from one generation of top management to the next. The problem is often most acute in family businesses, where the original entrepreneur hangs on as he watches others try to help manage or take over his business, while at the same time, his heirs feel overshadowed and frustrated. Paralleling the stages of family power are stages of company growth or of stagnation, and the smoothness with which one kind of transition is made often has a direct effect on the success of the other. —Harvard Business Review
Unsurprisingly, this can easily lead to a father, mother, aunt, uncle, or even a cousin to hang around. Perhaps to the extent that he or she still continues to “run” the business, without the permission of their successors. He or she may make promises, enter into deals, or offer discounts that undermine the new authority of their successive family member(s). Of course, this can cause resentment, anger, frustration, and might also be the cause of unnecessary fighting and/or financial trouble.

How to Deal with a Parent Who Keeps Interloping in a Family Business After Retiring

Fortunately, if you’re in a situation where one or more of your family members has retired but still continues to interlope in the family business, there are steps you can take. First, you need to have a discussion with your parent about their role in the business now that they are retired. It is important to be respectful yet firm in this conversation. Explain to them that while you value their opinion, they need to respect the fact that you are now running the business. This means that they should not try to make decisions or give orders without consulting with you first. You may also want to set some ground rules about how often they can come into the office or participate in business meetings. It is also important to stay calm and avoid getting into arguments with your parent. If they continue to try and take control, it will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, try to have a rational and calm discussion about the situation. If necessary, you may need to involve other family members or even a mediator to help resolve the situation. Additionally, it may be necessary to speak privately with any customers who aren’t completely clear about who is actually running the company and who makes the decisions. This could help in the future with communication and in other important areas. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. By doing so, you can hopefully avoid conflict and maintain a healthy relationship with your parent. Have you ever dealt with this type of situation? What would you do to resolve it? Please take a moment to share your experiences and thoughts so others can benefit from your input. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

Should You Scale or Scuttle Your Startup

When business begins to slow, your sense of confidence can slide, and it’s a scary sensation that usually follows. Facing the possibility of having to close the doors isn’t a pleasant one, and, you could feel like a complete failure. Before you begin to pack-up your office, take some time to look at the situation objectively. Ask yourself what’s the most likely cause and begin to take steps to solve rather than scuttle. If you are experiencing a steady slide in sales, there’s obviously a reason why that’s so. The good news is, there are always options, which can range from scaling out, scaling down, or, shutting down. The latter might not be the most welcome, but, sometimes it’s the best option, providing you with an opportunity to try something else. How to Solve the Scale or Scuttle Situation Should you be facing a mountain of bills, not seeing a jump in revenue, and having to cut back where you’ve never cut before, it certainly can be frightening and frustrating. The first place to begin is with yourself, your emotions, dreams, and, mental state. If you’re in a situation that simply taxes you too much and drains your energy, you ought to consider closing and starting fresh with something new. However, if you believe you can turn things around, you should seriously consider scaling down or out. …you’re stressed out, your relationships are fraying and your resolve is destroyed. Nevertheless,you must take action in order to end the turbulence with as much poise as possible. You can’t change the past, but you can certainly determine how you [proceed]. —Entrepreneur.com Scaling down is obviously taking measures to reduce your business workload to concentrate on key accounts. Scaling out isn’t the same as going up, it’s more lateral, providing more of what you already do, not offering new things. If you’re still wondering which way to go, take the following into consideration to make an informed, well-thought decision: Look at your workable options. One mistake some failing businesses make is to hammer a square peg into a circle, meaning they attempt to go beyond their core competencies, and, that’s just not a good idea. You’ll nearly inevitably see this backfire and make things go from bad to worse. Be prepared to stunt growth. Some businesses falter, not because of the lack of revenue, but because they take on too much. Should you and your team be stretched thin, it’s time to scale back and produce the best you can deliver. What you’ll find is more happy customers, co-workers, and self contentment. Get some unbiased advice. An outside view by an experienced business consultant can shed a lot of light on problems you didn’t even realize existed. Have your business evaluated and get some helpful advice that isn’t tainted by being too close or too attached. Know your company’s limits, and, its potential. Here again, if your company can’t comfortably keep pace with demand, it’s time to pull back and deliver quality over quantity. Should you be experiencing a spike, consider your business’ potential and grow incrementally. Understand your cash position. Having less cash isn’t necessarily or always a bad thing. It causes you to look at and prioritize expenses, weeding out what’s not needed. You’ll find creativity if you don’t succumb to fear. Another factor you’ll have to face is the emotional adjustment. We’re told all our lives that quitters never win and winners never quit, but, that goes against reality. Be willing to make an emotional adjustment and deal with the reality. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

Is Crazy Creating Chaos in Your Company?

We all deal with crazy (read: difficult) people in life. They are rude, obnoxious, oblivious, pitiful, without fault, always victims, stir up drama, and what’s worse, don’t know so. You see, the problem with him or her is someone else besides he or she: another coworker, a family member, perhaps even you. As the head of an organization, no matter its size, you’re bound to run into crazy and what’s simply insane is the fact that you let them through the door in the first place. This is just one way business owners and managers rationalize a situation that’s spiraling out of control. “It’s a phase,” or “he or she just needs a little extra motivation.” Though these thoughts might bring a modicum of comfort, it will be short-lived. If you are faced with an employee that’s ultimately doing more harm than good, you’ve got to deal with the situation before it has time to inflict more damage.   Ways to Deal with Difficult Employees In most instances, people that behave this way aren’t at all aware of reality. While you and the rest of your team know it, the problem personality probably has a peculiar position. This is a moving or adaptable perception that assigns blame away from him or her. Of course, this makes things worse because he or she won’t be easily convinced as to what’s truly going on. Often, when an employee is difficult we stop paying attention to what’s actually going on. We’re irritated, it seems hopeless, and we’ve already decided what we think about the employee – so we just turn our attention to other things, out of a combination of avoidance and self-protection. But the best managers get very attentive when someone’s not doing well. They know their best shot at improving the situation lies in having the clearest possible understanding of the situation… —Forbes.com The very first thing you ought to do is to take stock of the dynamics. Put yourself in his or her shoes to try and gain some perspective. If that comes up short and doesn’t provide any tangible answers, you now know he or she is the real source of the problem. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to take crazy out of the company: Separate fact from friction. Yes, friction, as well as fiction. Friction between employees can easily lead to you taking sides because of your affinity for one over the other, which is where fiction comes into play. You should act on facts, not feelings, and not because of favorites. Don’t confuse performance with conduct. One rationalization for keeping problematic employees in the company is because of their so-called “redeeming qualities.” While he or she might well possess some great performance traits, it is his or her conduct that’s actually most important. What he or she might be producing individually could well be undermining his or her peers. Take time to listen and offer solutions. Should the person who brings crazy chaos into your company be a productive team member, you ought to try to invoke a turn-around. Go into a private place and ask if he or she is having any problems, then, tactfully offer solutions. If the response is knee-jerk or obtuse, it’s probably time for ultimatums. Lend a helping hand. Not your own, but someone within your organization you trust. This works best peer-to-peer, where coaching captures cooperation. Though this can work wonders, it can also become a tempting choice in the future. Don’t use it as the fallback position or you’ll simply be known for passing difficult personalities out for others to deal with. Ultimately, you are fighting to deal with a situation, not to win by wrangling control away. You want to create a solution, not to win an argument. If you do chose the latter, you are choosing to join in the craziness and even make the environment worse. Also, know when you’re at your limit, as not every situation can be resolved. There will be times when simply parting ways will be the best solution for you and your business. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »