Help! My Dad Retired from the Family Business Years Ago but Still Tries to Run It and It’s Causing a Lot of Problems

It can be difficult when a parent retires from their job within the family business but continues to act as if they are still in charge. They may make unnecessary demands or try to micro-manage things that are no longer their responsibility. This can cause tension and conflict among other family members who are trying to run the business smoothly. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. So, let’s discuss some tips for how to do that.

The “Unable to Let Go” Syndrome

Some people, be it a father, mother, or even another family member, who’s worked for long periods of time in a family business regard the company as part of their identity. It’s simply part of who they are and therefore, it’s not easy to walk away. It becomes even more difficult when handing the operation over to children, who don’t have all their years of experience.
One of the most agonizing experiences that any business faces is moving from one generation of top management to the next. The problem is often most acute in family businesses, where the original entrepreneur hangs on as he watches others try to help manage or take over his business, while at the same time, his heirs feel overshadowed and frustrated. Paralleling the stages of family power are stages of company growth or of stagnation, and the smoothness with which one kind of transition is made often has a direct effect on the success of the other. —Harvard Business Review
Unsurprisingly, this can easily lead to a father, mother, aunt, uncle, or even a cousin to hang around. Perhaps to the extent that he or she still continues to “run” the business, without the permission of their successors. He or she may make promises, enter into deals, or offer discounts that undermine the new authority of their successive family member(s). Of course, this can cause resentment, anger, frustration, and might also be the cause of unnecessary fighting and/or financial trouble.

How to Deal with a Parent Who Keeps Interloping in a Family Business After Retiring

Fortunately, if you’re in a situation where one or more of your family members has retired but still continues to interlope in the family business, there are steps you can take. First, you need to have a discussion with your parent about their role in the business now that they are retired. It is important to be respectful yet firm in this conversation. Explain to them that while you value their opinion, they need to respect the fact that you are now running the business. This means that they should not try to make decisions or give orders without consulting with you first. You may also want to set some ground rules about how often they can come into the office or participate in business meetings. It is also important to stay calm and avoid getting into arguments with your parent. If they continue to try and take control, it will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, try to have a rational and calm discussion about the situation. If necessary, you may need to involve other family members or even a mediator to help resolve the situation. Additionally, it may be necessary to speak privately with any customers who aren’t completely clear about who is actually running the company and who makes the decisions. This could help in the future with communication and in other important areas. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. By doing so, you can hopefully avoid conflict and maintain a healthy relationship with your parent. Have you ever dealt with this type of situation? What would you do to resolve it? Please take a moment to share your experiences and thoughts so others can benefit from your input. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

I Want to Create a New Position for My Small Business – So How Do I Go about It?

Entrepreneurs wear many, many hats. It is not at all unusual for a small business owner to perform several different roles. But, this Jack of all trades, master of none can’t go on in perpetuity. The longer it lasts, the less chance there is that the business can scale up. In order to grow a company, it’s necessary to have help and many business owners reach a point where it is unavoidable. So, they make a few hires but still continue to perform various functions until they realize that a new position will free them up to pursue their main goals. Hiring should Equal Growth It’s very common for small business owners to be nervous about their first hires. However, they eventually get past this and the team settles into a comfortable routine. This can easily result in a false sense of security and it’s not at all unusual for the owner to slip right back into or continue bad habits. If a heavy workload causes your employees to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, it may be time to add new positions to your department. Hiring an additional staff member or two can help you split tasks between employees more equitably and give employees the time they need to devote to their work. —Houston Chronicle Sure, someone has to perform those functions and the owner typically feels it is his or her responsibility. But, there comes a time when it’s clear that handing off at least some of those tasks to someone else would be very beneficial. What generally holds a business owner back is not having a clearly defined position, as they did with previous hires. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to create a new employee position. How to Create a New Employee Position for a Small Business When it becomes obvious that you’re taking on too much, be it administrative tasks or something else, it’s time to seriously consider hiring someone to do that work for you. Here are some steps you can take in order to create a new employee position: Estimate its ROI. Before you start posting job openings, take some time to work out the most likely return on investment. Ask yourself if one or more of your current employees can assume these responsibilities. If not, then it is more likely you need to create a brand new position. Just work out a realistic scenario on how much this will add to expenses and what size return of investment you’ll get for this potential hire. Determine if it’s part or full time. Next, you’ll need to determine whether this is a part-time or full-time position. Go over your schedule and create a ballpark figure of how much time you spend on these tasks. This will give you a pretty good idea of the number of hours you’ll give over to a new employee. Plus, it will tell you how much time you gain back doing more important things. Compile a list of applicable skills. Last but certainly not least, you’ll need to create a list of applicable skills that a new employee would need to possess. This will also tell you if these responsibilities are truly interrelated or if they are a mixed bag. What’s more, it will point you in a more specific direction and help you to hone in on the right personality. What other suggestions do you have for an entrepreneur who is considering creating a new team member role? Please share your experiences and thoughts so others can benefit from your input! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Top Ways to Deal with Critics

There’s simply no way to run a business without dealing with critics. As an entrepreneur, you’ll face doubt in many forms. You’ll face inner doubt, ruminate over which next step to take, receive less-than-positive feedback, and plenty more. What’s more, you’ll have to do so much more, like find ways to keep company secrets safe and navigate through industry changes. Running a business isn’t for the faint of heart and when critics chime-in, that’s precisely where it will hurt most. Top Ways to Deal with Critics Let’s face it, there is no shortage of bad news to discourage you. For instance, if you dream of opening a retail shop, no doubt the latest news out of that sector is troubling. But, it’s commonplace for unpleasant experiences to unfold. This certainly isn’t to say it’s all bad all the time. In fact, that’s part of the problem. When things are going good most of the time, criticism is the biggest wet blanket. Doubters rain on your parade and you scramble for cover. Criticism is part of life, but often times being criticized can make us feel like we aren’t good enough, like we’ve done something wrong, or even cause us to be uncertain about our future. People often take criticism as a personal attack, but in reality, criticism can often be positive. —Fast Company While it’s normal to experience periods of struggle, eventually, you’ll fight through and start to win. Any setback serves as a valuable lesson going forward. And, over time, you’ll enjoy long periods of success without much or any trouble. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the critics will appear. That’s when you need to be prepared. Otherwise, you’ll become too distracted and won’t have the energy to fully function. So, here are some of the top ways to deal with critics: Teach them, no matter your feelings. Okay, so you don’t particularly like the person who is criticizing you (or your business). And, it’s natural to take it personally because it is your business. But, don’t let this become a missed opportunity. Instead, redirect your feelings and teach him or her. You’ll probably enjoy some accomplishment while turning a critic into a fan. Tell them the truth and do not be fake. You’ll receive at least a little criticism because of your success since it breeds jealousy. That jealousy will manifest into criticism and possibly into anger, even hate. If this does happen, don’t make the mistake of defending your success. Instead, talk about your failures to allow them to relate. Accept that doubters will always be there. Keep in mind that doubt is not the same as an insult (though you just might feel insulted). Rather, doubt is a disbelief in something unfamiliar. And, it isn’t personal, just a way of expressing uncertainty. So, find out what’s doubted and use it to teach. Trial and error isn’t perfect and that’s okay. Sometimes, a new idea can come off as foolish, gimmicky, or silly. But, trial and error are part of business. You need to experiment to know what does and does not work. If you receive criticism, accept it and just move on. Know when it’s time to give a sincere apology. If the criticism is legitimate, you might need to apologize. Know when it’s the right time to say you’re sorry and be sincere when you do. You’ll learn from the experience and move past the criticism, which are good things. How do you deal with critics? What strategies do you use to cope with doubters and doubt? What are your most useful experiences with critics? Please share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a comment. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

Are You Focused or Frantic?

The world of business is often a fast-paced one, an environment which requires attention to many details and dynamics. Those new to the entrepreneurial experience are usually shocked by the sheer amount of things which need to be done. In response to these needs, some business owners try to attend to more than one matter at a time, a solution often called “multitasking.” Unfortunately, abiding by the adage “killing two birds with one stone,” is a counterproductive solution. When you multitask, you lose, plain and simple. Talking on the phone while picking-up groceries or walking the dog while replying to an email seem like smart time-saving ideas, but, they aren’t. You’ll forget the loaf of bread or to run spell check before hitting “send.” It’s a matter of attention, which is to say a matter of fact. We’re not biologically engineered to do multiple things at a time, which is why it’s tricky to pat your head and rub your belly simultaneously. When multitasking is attempted, your attention is less attentive to each task, and something inevitably gets missed. How to Maintain Your Focus in Business Let the nearby quote sink-in for a moment. How professional athletes, trained engineers, scientists, physicians do what they do best isn’t done by trying to do many tasks all at once. They use a process, an incremental approach to everything in a focused manner. When you play a game of chess or go into the gym, you do so with purpose. No matter what the experience, there is purpose, even watching a movie you’ve seen countless times has purpose–to unwind or just to re-live a feeling. It’s not a big surprise that big league baseball players can hit a pitch far better than the rest of us. Research on the game’s best hitters has shown that they have excellent hand-eye coordination and can respond quickly to visual cues. Indeed, one of the keys to a superior ball player’s performance is excellent vision and focus that allow him to see a baseball perfectly as it travels at high velocity toward home plate. —Forbes You’re in business for a purpose and a good one at-that. Regardless of what you sell, your aim is to fulfill a need and derive personal satisfaction, as well as a sense of accomplishment. Those are admirable but what’s probably holding you back from delivering your best is you’re not giving everything your best, you’re simply rushing through one task to get to the next–to rush through it as well. Your argument (read: rationalization) for doing so is that you simply don’t have enough time. Time management is an art-form, but it wouldn’t be as high a priority if you did not have to redo what you just did…again. By focusing, you’re not wasting time, you are ensuring thoughtfulness, quality, and attention to detail–the list goes on and on. What you need to do to succeed in business is be in the business of taking care of business. This doesn’t mean taking an important phone call while on the treadmill and juggling to eat your lunch without spilling it. The person you’re speaking to will certainly know what you’re doing, even though he or she cannot see you, precisely because your attention is distracted. That does not equal good business practice, it undermines and worse, inflicts damage. If “location, location, location,” means everything in real estate, then, focus is of the same importance in business. Here are some things you should be doing, every single day: Eliminate distractions. It’s not rude if you close your office door or go outside to sit on a bench to concentrate, it’s healthy for your psyche, and, for your business. Although I have a home office, I purposely operate out of a professional business office that provides the environment, the accountability and allows me to be more focused and productive. Distractions are the hobgoblin of business, the less, the better. Batch like tasks. If you read each email as it arrives, you’re doing it wrong. There’s an unseen, yet, really felt harm in doing so, because it breaks your focus. Batch similar tasks and schedule these in blocks. An example is email as the first, unfinished tasks as the second, new tasks as the third, you get the idea. Do what’s most productive and works best. Prioritize according to importance. Our natural inclination is to do what’s easiest or what we most prefer, but we also are quite aware of the consequences. If you’re doing this, it’s why you don’t feel much personal satisfaction and like you’re not really moving your business forward. Put everything in its place. You might call it O.C.D., but it’s actually very smart to have a place for everything and put everything in its place. I have very specific spots on my desk for client project priorities, my own business and personal business priorities, prospects, etc. Essentially, the only piles on my desk are those that are high priority so that my focus is aligned. The time you spend looking for this or that might be small, but add-up all those moments and you’ll marvel at the immense waste. One last suggestion is to harness the power of your body’s healing power–sleep. It’s hard to be an entrepreneur but it’s even more difficult when you’re making it more difficult by not getting a good night’s sleep. Instead of watching the late night news, I started going to bed earlier. As a result, I have been getting up earlier to go to the gym, which provided energy and clarity for creativity and productive focus during my day. Turn off the technology, let your brain rest, and rejuvenate each and every night. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

Imagine Selling Your Business…

How Would Your Life Change?

You didn’t start your business just to stay busy—you built it to create freedom, security, and options for yourself and your family. Selling your business can be life-changing, but the real question is whether you’re intentionally building toward that outcome or simply leaving it to chance.

Sign up below for a free consultative session to learn what your business could be worth today and in the future! 

Thank you for your interest in learning what your business is worth. We will be in touch shortly.