Help! My Dad Retired from the Family Business Years Ago but Still Tries to Run It and It’s Causing a Lot of Problems

It can be difficult when a parent retires from their job within the family business but continues to act as if they are still in charge. They may make unnecessary demands or try to micro-manage things that are no longer their responsibility. This can cause tension and conflict among other family members who are trying to run the business smoothly. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. So, let’s discuss some tips for how to do that.

The “Unable to Let Go” Syndrome

Some people, be it a father, mother, or even another family member, who’s worked for long periods of time in a family business regard the company as part of their identity. It’s simply part of who they are and therefore, it’s not easy to walk away. It becomes even more difficult when handing the operation over to children, who don’t have all their years of experience.
One of the most agonizing experiences that any business faces is moving from one generation of top management to the next. The problem is often most acute in family businesses, where the original entrepreneur hangs on as he watches others try to help manage or take over his business, while at the same time, his heirs feel overshadowed and frustrated. Paralleling the stages of family power are stages of company growth or of stagnation, and the smoothness with which one kind of transition is made often has a direct effect on the success of the other. —Harvard Business Review
Unsurprisingly, this can easily lead to a father, mother, aunt, uncle, or even a cousin to hang around. Perhaps to the extent that he or she still continues to “run” the business, without the permission of their successors. He or she may make promises, enter into deals, or offer discounts that undermine the new authority of their successive family member(s). Of course, this can cause resentment, anger, frustration, and might also be the cause of unnecessary fighting and/or financial trouble.

How to Deal with a Parent Who Keeps Interloping in a Family Business After Retiring

Fortunately, if you’re in a situation where one or more of your family members has retired but still continues to interlope in the family business, there are steps you can take. First, you need to have a discussion with your parent about their role in the business now that they are retired. It is important to be respectful yet firm in this conversation. Explain to them that while you value their opinion, they need to respect the fact that you are now running the business. This means that they should not try to make decisions or give orders without consulting with you first. You may also want to set some ground rules about how often they can come into the office or participate in business meetings. It is also important to stay calm and avoid getting into arguments with your parent. If they continue to try and take control, it will only escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, try to have a rational and calm discussion about the situation. If necessary, you may need to involve other family members or even a mediator to help resolve the situation. Additionally, it may be necessary to speak privately with any customers who aren’t completely clear about who is actually running the company and who makes the decisions. This could help in the future with communication and in other important areas. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to set boundaries and communicate effectively with your parent. By doing so, you can hopefully avoid conflict and maintain a healthy relationship with your parent. Have you ever dealt with this type of situation? What would you do to resolve it? Please take a moment to share your experiences and thoughts so others can benefit from your input. Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

How to Think Clearly when Times are Crazy

Only a few short months ago, the economy was on fire. Then, a slow moving disaster crept across the globe. Shortly after, the coronavirus pandemic triggered a drastic response. An almost total shutdown ensued. Now, re-openings are happening everywhere. But, the unprecedented reaction upended so much, it’s very difficult to return to normalcy. And, it’s enough to make your head spin. The Real Cost of Rash Decisions Rash decisions typically equal regret. But, it’s not just the let down. It’s also the waste of time and money. We all know this, which is precisely why we instinctively hate making rushed decisions. It’s the reason we take time to understand the circumstances. But, when the pressure is on, it’s difficult to resist in the moment. …we need information and we need help to face our problems. But we can only arrive at the solutions by ourselves. The trick is giving our minds the space they need. —Psychology Today Everyone responds to stress differently. Although, there are most definitely commonalities. Fast heart beat, perspiration, even trembling, are all physical symptoms. Then, there’s the toll it takes on your emotions and it becomes very difficult to think clearly. Effective Ways to Think Clearly So, just how do you clear your head? Most people will take a deep breath (which makes the list below). But, sometimes, that’s not enough. Here are some helpful suggestions for how to think clearly during crazy times: Take a deep breath. Okay, this is an obvious bit of advice. But, it bears repeating because it’s not only simple, but often, effective. Taking a moment to slow down and breath deeply can work wonders. Unfortunately, this isn’t always sufficient. Focus on the problem, not the outcome. While taking a bit of time out might help, it could fall short. If you’re worried about the outcome, that’s perfectly normal. But, if that worry is preventing you from taking any action, then focus on the problem or process and not the potential outcome. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Of course, it’s always best to plan. So, follow the old adage and plan for the best result while being prepared for the worst case scenario. If you can’t completely sidestep a bad outcome, at least mitigate its impact. Solicit advice from several sources. Two heads are better than one. This not only gives you different points of view, it also helps to take the pressure off and gives you more options. Remember, you don’t always have to make decisions alone. Set the situation aside and work on something else. Another great way to clear your head is to occupy yourself with something else temporarily. You’ll get the satisfaction of completing a task and it gives you time to think a bit outside the box. Meditate and/or Pray. Find a moment to be still. You could do this during your breathing exercise noted above. Calm your mind. Find a moment to listen to your breathing and close your eyes. Now meditate on all you’ve been given and how grateful you are for what you have. Thank God for the challenges and opportunities your dealing with and trust Him for His guidance and wisdom to get you through knowing he works all things for good. What other suggestions do you have for thinking clearly? Please, take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences by commenting and benefiting others! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Smartest Ways to Refresh Your Business Brand for the New Year

The start of a new year brings a sense of renewal and opportunity—a perfect time to breathe fresh life into your business brand. Whether you’re looking to attract new customers, better connect with your audience, or outshine competitors, a brand refresh can be the key to staying relevant and impactful in an ever-changing market.

Read More »

Here are the 3 Biggest Self-Imposed Entrepreneurial Roadblocks

More often than not, the person in the mirror is the individual who is most to blame for your problems. Usually, lack of success isn’t due to external circumstances or a run of bad luck. Poor decisions are typically the culprit. And, these mostly come from the failure to recognize certain self-imposed roadblocks. How Modern Culture undermines Businesses Now, this doesn’t mean there are never any real externalities which play a significant role. Just take a quick look at modern culture. Practically everything is now on-demand. We live at a time where immediate gratification is normal. But, that’s a dangerous situation. Success is what every business person and entrepreneur desires from the very core of their being. They have a dream, a genius idea and an initial excitement to make it happen. Having a great idea and building a sustainable empire, however, are very different things and many, if not most, fail. To rank among those who succeed you must master certain disciplines to avoid sabotaging your own success. —Entrepreneur.com You first need to instill self-discipline and realize it’s more advantageous to accomplish your biggest goals in small steps. An incremental approach will cause you to think through scenarios and have a more clear understanding. However, just taking it step-by-step might not be enough. 3 Biggest Self-Imposed Entrepreneurial Roadblocks Let’s get back to how too many entrepreneurs sabotage themselves. They put up roadblocks which keep them from realizing their full potential. So, here’s the three most common self-imposed roadblocks you need to recognize and deal with: Not recognizing futility for what it is. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Wargames,” then you know the scene when Dr. Stephen Falken uses the example of tic-tac-toe to illustrate the importance of recognizing futility. But, that’s the exact opposite of what we hear time and time again. You’re not supposed to give up. Keep fighting and find a way. However, there are times when it’s just futile and you can’t win. Remember Einstein said repeating the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Seriously doubting your own abilities. This is perhaps the most common self-imposed roadblock. It’s natural to have reservations, even to feel fear and/or doubt. Although, too much doubt is a poison pill. It’s simply paralyzing and ultimately self-defeating to give into unrealistic doubts. Saying “Yes” when “No” is appropriate. We’ve all heard the advice to give things away for free or at little cost. Additionally, to always help others. But, saying “Yes,” can easily obstruct your ability to grow your business. After all, you need to focus on your own business to build it up before you can actually be in a position to help others do the same with their companies. What other self-imposed roadblocks have you overcome? How do you move past your own limitations? Please share your thoughts by commenting and joining the conversation! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »