Business Owners, Want to be Better Leaders? Then, Stop Apologizing and Use these Sentiments Instead

If you’re anything like the average person, your parents probably instilled in you the courtesy to apologize. Saying you’re sorry is one of the most important keystones of polite society. So, it should definitely not come as a surprise that very politeness eventually turns into second nature compulsion. In fact, people use the phrase way too often and don’t really think about its effects. Now, in purely interpersonal situations, this is probably quite benign. But, when you’re running a business, this habit could cause a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Apologizing isn’t Always Positive

Of course, there have been academic studies confirming that apologizing too much tends to have adverse outcomes. It not only shows a willingness to capitulate, but it also underscores an underlying weakness. Furthermore, the same studies reveal that it can cause anger or resentment in others – two emotions you definitely want to avoid, if at all possible.
After you hurt someone’s feelings or do something wrong, it turns out that saying sorry might not be the best solution. In fact, an apology might just add fuel to the fire, a recent study by researchers from Dartmouth College and the University of Texas has found. —Entrepreneur.com
Apologizing too much doesn’t always result in dire circumstances. But, it may also easily create the impression that you’ll simply go along to get along no matter what. In other words, give the impression your preference is to avoid any and all confrontation, because it is too uncomfortable for you to handle. Obviously, none of these things are good for an entrepreneur, but this doesn’t mean you have to be stubborn, obtuse, or even mean.

3 Alternatives to Saying your Sorry

When you apologize, you’re not only relating your own disposition, you’re sending signals to the other person or group of people. Fortunately, there are at least three handy phrases you can use in place of saying you’re sorry or apologizing outright:
  • “I appreciate your patience.” Whether you’re late for an appointment or something is taking longer than it should have, save the apology and use this phrase instead. It has the same effect that you’re looking for but doesn’t put the blame solely on you and compliments the other person.
  • “Thank you for working with me.” This is a great alternative when things aren’t going according to plan. In a sense, you’re still apologizing, but you are not doing so directly, and again you are giving the other person a nice compliment.
  • “Here’s a slightly different perspective.” Rather than blurting out an apology for something you haven’t said yet, use this expression to bolster your credibility and get people to actually listen to what you have to say. This is a terrific way to join in on a conversation or to bring your point of view up.
What other suggestions do you have for apology alternatives? Please, take a few moments to share your thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your input! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

How Strangers Can Teach You to Personally Connect

May 16, 2017 No Comments

Meeting strangers is something we do often. It’s part of life, and, most first time encounters are awkward. We meet new people in our professional lives and that creates anxiety. Even in social situations, it can be difficult. As you become more familiar with others, the apprehension subsides. It’s a process with a learning curve because everyone you meet is different. Personality type plays a big role in how we interact with others, carefully choosing words that are appropriate for the situation. For some, like full-blown extroverts, meeting new people is a cinch — it comes quite naturally. For the majority, however, that’s simply not the case. You always want to make a good impression and be liked from the very first moment. It’s how to accomplish that goal you probably fret over most. How Strangers Can Teach You to Personally Connect Strangers are everywhere. No matter where you go, chances are excellent you’ll be surrounded by strangers. Even people you see all the time, but don’t interact with, are part of day-to-day life. You can learn from this common phenomenon by watching and listening. Taking a bit further, think about and compare those interactions to people you consider friends. At one point, you didn’t know one another, but now, you do. You’ve found you share an interest, hobby, or personality trait. The most powerful way to create an instant connection with your friends, family, co-workers and everyone you will ever meet from this moment on is simple. Just shut up and listen. —Entrepreneur.com When you were new to one another, think back to what led you to become friends. Perhaps you had children in the same classroom, shared office space, or, got your morning coffee from the same place. Whatever brought you in contact, you eventually interacted. So, when you meet someone new, be mindful of how he or she connects with you. Some are better than others, but, no matter their demeanor, you’ll still learn. Of course, those you’ll learn the most from are people who are instantly likable. In business, connecting on a personal level is a must to foster a solid relationship. It’s the people you meet and help who will be some of your best brand ambassadors. If you want to connect with others nearly instantaneously, pay close attention to strangers you meet who have that very ability. What you’ll notice is there are commonalities, like the following: They genuinely smile. This simple facial expression that indicates joy, pleasure, or entertainment, is very powerful. It sets the tone and makes you approachable. In addition, it conveys you are an amicable person. The trick is to do so naturally — a forced or fake smile will do the opposite of a genuine one. If you are a person with a natural scowl, then just think of something that makes you happy. They greet you and use your name. You’ve probably gone through a conversation with someone new and never once heard your own name. People who naturally connect, greet you with enthusiasm, and, use your name. It’s something our brains are hardwired to enjoy because it identifies us as individuals. Do the same: greet with eagerness, smile, and use his or her name. Just a few mentions will do a lot to establish a rapport. They interject levity. Another common part of interaction is the dreaded bore — the person who drones on and on about this or that. It’s the exact opposite of people whose company we most enjoy — those who make us laugh. Little anecdotes, small observations, and even humorous situations really help to break the ice. Not only is a great way to be amicable, it also helps to foster a more casual conversation. Just be mindful to use appropriate language and not go overboard. They gesticulate smartly. People who connect instantly gesticulate, but do so in a savvy manner. They use their hands and arms to show enthusiasm and energy, which helps to hone your attention. Use the same technique when you are meeting someone, but do so without going too far. They truly listen. There’s practically nothing more frustrating than being barraged by words without being able to reply. People who naturally connect do so in-part, by letting others talk, and, by listening. When you meet someone for the first time, one of your goals should be to get them to talk about themselves. Another commonality is they talk to everyone. No, not in a babbling or bombastic manner, but in an inclusive way. If you adopt this practice, small talk will flow naturally and you’ll be able to connect faster. Connecting and continuing the Communication is what builds the Relationship. If it is a Relationship worth building, continue the process and you will move to Trust which brings on a higher level of interaction and experience which can transform your life. Go out and meet new people … and see where your journey takes you! [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »

No, Your Customers Don’t Really Care (or Want to Hear) about Your Problems – So Stop Complaining

September 1, 2022 No Comments

The economy is in a recession. Interest rates are going up. Inflation is rising. There’s a labor shortage. (And, materials are still not readily available.) The list can go on and on and on. What’s even worse, is there are business owners actually do go on and on. They complain about this, that, and the other thing. Some even take it to the next level and complain about things that haven’t even happened yet. Then, although somewhat rare, there are entrepreneurs out there who go so far as to put their gripes and grievances on social media. This doesn’t paint a very positive picture and of course, it does absolutely nothing to correct what is perceived to be or is wrong. In reality, it does far more harm than it does through catharsis. So, if you’re guilty of this extremely unattractive behavior it’s time to stop, and here’s why. The Internet is Forever All right, very few business owners actually do complain over the internet but where it’s mostly found is social media. Regardless of the digital property, the internet is forever, meaning that once it is out there, it’s usually not possible to take it back. Even if you’re able to delete it, you’ve already left a negative impression. We sometimes deny that we’re complaining. Instead, we say that we’re just “being honest,” “venting” or “blowing off steam.” But don’t kid yourself: Whenever you insert negative feelings into a conversation without some sort of resolution, you’re complaining. It’s tempting because there is a lot about entrepreneurship to complain about —Entrepreneur.com Then, there’s something else to keep in mind. Business owners don’t need to be the ones writing complaints about this or that on the web. Dissatisfied customers will do that instead (and probably with good reason). In other words, if you complain to your customers or in front of them, there’s a good chance they’ll share that experience and that isn’t good for your business’s public reputation. Instead of Complaining, Do the Following Everyone is guilty and capable of letting their complaints be known. But for business owners, this is a very bad choice with no real upside. Whether you’re complaining about a problematic customer, an inhospitable vendor, or your bank charging petty nickel and dime fees, you’re still doing it with negative emotion. Sure, people will understand your frustration, but customers really don’t want to hear about it or even care. So, what should you do when something bothers you and you’re dealing with a customer at that time? Well, the first suggestion is to ignore or resist your instinct to interject complaints and bite your tongue. If you’re able to put it off for a little while, you’ll be able to vent to the right people in an appropriate setting. Should your personality be one that says it’s best to be honest with everyone and use that excuse as a justification, think twice before you start blurting out complaints. Ask yourself what would you think if you were the customer hearing this? Merely putting yourself in your customers’ shoes ought to be enough to dissuade you from griping. At the very least, it will give you pause to adjust your attitude. It’s also helpful to remember that complaining doesn’t solve anything. Yes, it does allow you to get something that’s bothering you off your chest, but that’s not usually worth the ultimate cost. Remember that it is not an attractive or trustworthy trait and you’ll do yourself a huge favor. What other advice would you give business owners who have a bad habit of complaining to customers? Please share your own thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your input! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Accomplish Your Biggest Goals in Small Steps

May 16, 2017 No Comments

You’ve probably heard the way to eat an elephant is to take one bite at a time. In business this is fundamental because it decidedly identifies the road to success. This road, it should be well understood, isn’t an easy path and will have plenty of bumps along the way. These setbacks, or failures, are excellent parts of the learning curve and are typically more valuable than successes. Savvy entrepreneurs embrace this truth and use it in a strategic way. Some of the largest and oldest companies were born from simple ideas. These giants grew from obscurity, not because of all they offer, but because each accomplished a goal which made them instrumental to the world of commerce. In 1939, after many frustrating years, inventor Charles Goodyear discovered the process of vulcanization. Though the legendary achievement is etched in history, the backstory is quite telling. Goodyear spent years trying to turn his concept into reality. He went dead broke and into extreme debt, yet endured and persisted on one single goal. How to Accomplish Your Biggest Goals in Small Steps Of course not every entrepreneur suffers such extreme adversity. It’s true that the majority of businesses do experience fits and starts but overcome and go on to achieve enough to turn a respectable profit. The way this happens is through a series of phases which include periodic cycles of failures. These aren’t due to lack of motivation, not being smart or talented enough, but the result of trying to accomplish too many things at once. When people set out to begin a major work project or adopt a healthier lifestyle, it’s easy to become discouraged when picturing the long road ahead. By the same token, even smaller-scale plans like keeping a medical appointment or a standing date to the gym can become easily derailed by the busyness of our daily lives or a simple aversion to the doctor or the treadmill. —The Wharton School Let’s get back to how to eat an elephant. The key to tackling any big goal is to do so in a smart and workable manner. Though most people understand reaching a goal takes time, their enthusiasm causes over-reach and that’s when things start to go wrong. You just can’t do six things at once and expect to master all of them. Too many directions, which is to say too many projects, is a recipe for failure. So, the key to success is the opposite — do one thing at a time. Here’s how to accomplish your biggest goal in small steps: Set a big goal to reach. The first step is to set a realistic goal. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big but these can be too large to reach before feeling discouraged. One of the reasons entrepreneurs achieve success is they have a vision that’s focused and workable. Identify a realistic path to take. Another component to achieving your big goal is to map out a realistic path to take. Break the process down into phases —these don’t have to include every possible detail or include all contingencies. Martin Luther King remarked on this when he said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Start with one small, incremental step. You’ve probably heard different adages about the first step being the hardest. It’s true and to feel a sense of accomplishment while building momentum, the first step ought to be small. Take a moment to reflect the accomplishment. After each incremental step or phase is complete, take time to reflect on your accomplishment. The sense of pride is inspiring, and it reinforces your self confidence. With every step and phase completion, you can look toward your ultimate goal but stay focused on the here and now. This will help to motivate you and it’s a great way to appreciate your hard work. As a side note, it would be an honor to help out my LinkedIn connections with their business. At minimum, I’d love to connect and be in touch. We can do this by you signing up & getting my Top 5 Business Tips each month; and it’s free! May Your Business Succeed Beyond Your Dreams! ~Best, John Waters Want to find out about what a business coach can do for you? [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »