Just be nice. You’ve heard it from your mother. You heard it in kindergarten (and through school). It’s on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. And, it’s good advice, for the most part. But, it’s a recipe for disaster when it’s always your default disposition. Sure, you should be nice to people as it’s the polite thing to do. But, being too nice will cause all kinds of unintentional issues. Read on to see why. How Assertiveness can Hurt You On the flip side, being too assertive can also be quite harmful. Don’t get the wrong impression. You do need to be assertive, just at the right “temperature.” If you are too assertive, you’ll come across as overbearing. And, downright mean, in some situations. People also might think you too coarse and possibly aloof or antipathetic. Leaders are placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable, human and … nice. Many yield to this instinct, because it feels much easier to be liked. Few people want to be the bad guy. But leaders are also expected to make the tough decisions that serve the company or the team’s best interests. Being too nice can be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization. —Havard Business Review Assertiveness can also be taken as overly self-serving. Basically, it’s an attitude that can easily come across the wrong way in more ways than one. Although, assertiveness does have a purpose and when it’s used strategically, it’s highly effective. That’s because striking a balance gives you the best of both worlds and a positive perspective. Which ultimately helps you to see things more clearly and make better decisions. Top Ways being Too Nice is Harmful Conversely, being too nice, is at best, problematic. It creates illusions that simply can’t be sustained. In essence, it’s a false impression, even if you’re being genuine. How? Well, here’s how being too nice is harmful in business: You project weakness. When you’re overly nice, you’re perceived as a pushover. It’s that simple. People who have this impression will try to take advantage, when and where they can. And, that sets-up a bad scenario. You attract the wrong people. Another problem with being too nice is that it does attract the wrong sort of people. Some others will take this as a green light to burden you with their own problems. Which means, you’re inviting unnecessary stress and drama into your life. People might feel distrustful. Niceness can bring out negative feelings in others you interact with. For instance, someone could sense you’re actually concealing your true feelings and merely putting up a front. So, they manifest a sense of distrustfulness. You bias your own expectations. When you’re constantly nice, you might make others feel better. But, you’re also inadvertently warping your own expectations, thinking everyone else should treat you the same. How do you balance being courteous and polite with also being assertive? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Work, work, work, work. It’s a well-established entrepreneurial behavior. And, in the age of on-demand information and immediate connectivity, it’s only getting worse. Unfortunately, too many people are a part of an always-at-work culture. Sure, they love what they do. But, it causes burn out and just isn’t healthy. If you’re constantly working, even when you’re not at work, you’re not alone. So, read on to learn a few ways to effectively deal with it. A Different Look at the Always-at-Work Behavior We’ve talked about wasting time. And, in a very real sense, that’s what you’re doing when you’re working when you’re not actually at work. In other words, the fact that you’re not truly in the moment means you’re only cheating yourself and the others around you. Depending on the job and the employer’s expectations, which should be clearly outlined, employees who accept a job and commit to meeting those expectations need to accept that they are “on call” and be willing to answer communications. However, remember the old adage, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Everyone deserves some time to disconnect. —Forbes.com Think about it for a moment. If you are constantly distracted by work, you’re effectively taking time away from family and friends because you’re not enjoying what’s going on. In fact, you don’t even need to be there since it’s not what’s capturing your attention. How to Prevent Workaholic Urges Now, it’s one thing to “know” there’s an issue but a totally different thing to do something about it. After all, you’ll have to fight through those feelings that push you into your always-at-work disposition. So, let’s take a look at some effective ways to prevent workaholic urges: Recognize there’s a problem. You’ve probably heard this a number of times. It’s unavoidably true. You must start by recognizing there is a real problem. Then, commit to make a change. Don’t beat yourself up too much if you slip now and again because that’s just part of the process. Ask for help from your team. You’ll need to enlist the help of your team to make real strides. Tell them to keep work at work. You’ll probably find they are happy to help out. Establish a set turn-off time. Another way to get away from the urge to work is to establish a set turnoff time. (A good time is when it’s time to cook dinner or sit down for dinner.) Learn to indulge in relaxation. Relaxation isn’t a bad thing. So, stop treating it like it is the end of the world because it isn’t. Find something you enjoy and take time to enjoy it. I am personally working on myself too! I recently took a break to Mexico with my 14 year old daughter to unplug. Guess what, I plugged in my lap top to work in the mornings and found myself working until noon on a few days! Not good! I actually felt a small amount of anxiety because of my actions. I am now working on a better plan for unplugging. How else do you get away from the urge to work all the time? What other methods and strategies do you use? Please share your thoughts and experiences by commenting! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.