Just be nice. You’ve heard it from your mother. You heard it in kindergarten (and through school). It’s on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. And, it’s good advice, for the most part. But, it’s a recipe for disaster when it’s always your default disposition. Sure, you should be nice to people as it’s the polite thing to do. But, being too nice will cause all kinds of unintentional issues. Read on to see why. How Assertiveness can Hurt You On the flip side, being too assertive can also be quite harmful. Don’t get the wrong impression. You do need to be assertive, just at the right “temperature.” If you are too assertive, you’ll come across as overbearing. And, downright mean, in some situations. People also might think you too coarse and possibly aloof or antipathetic. Leaders are placed under a tremendous amount of pressure to be relatable, human and … nice. Many yield to this instinct, because it feels much easier to be liked. Few people want to be the bad guy. But leaders are also expected to make the tough decisions that serve the company or the team’s best interests. Being too nice can be lazy, inefficient, irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organization. —Havard Business Review Assertiveness can also be taken as overly self-serving. Basically, it’s an attitude that can easily come across the wrong way in more ways than one. Although, assertiveness does have a purpose and when it’s used strategically, it’s highly effective. That’s because striking a balance gives you the best of both worlds and a positive perspective. Which ultimately helps you to see things more clearly and make better decisions. Top Ways being Too Nice is Harmful Conversely, being too nice, is at best, problematic. It creates illusions that simply can’t be sustained. In essence, it’s a false impression, even if you’re being genuine. How? Well, here’s how being too nice is harmful in business: You project weakness. When you’re overly nice, you’re perceived as a pushover. It’s that simple. People who have this impression will try to take advantage, when and where they can. And, that sets-up a bad scenario. You attract the wrong people. Another problem with being too nice is that it does attract the wrong sort of people. Some others will take this as a green light to burden you with their own problems. Which means, you’re inviting unnecessary stress and drama into your life. People might feel distrustful. Niceness can bring out negative feelings in others you interact with. For instance, someone could sense you’re actually concealing your true feelings and merely putting up a front. So, they manifest a sense of distrustfulness. You bias your own expectations. When you’re constantly nice, you might make others feel better. But, you’re also inadvertently warping your own expectations, thinking everyone else should treat you the same. How do you balance being courteous and polite with also being assertive? What other advice would you offer? Please share your thoughts and experiences! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

“Stop comparing yourself to others!” Chance are excellent you’ve heard this advice more than once before. It might have been a parent, coach, a teacher, or even a friend. Okay, we all know this is true. Comparing yourself to others will inevitably lead to disappointment. But, we all fall into this trap and it isn’t helpful. So, how do you resist the feeling in the first place? Let’s take a look at how you can effectively stop comparing yourself to others. If You Keep Comparing Yourself to Others, You’re Standing in the Way of Success Before we get into the logistics, we’ll take a peek into what this actually does — it prevents you from succeeding. That’s right. Think about it. If you’re always comparing yourself to others, you keep moving the goal post. Comparing yourself to others’ accomplishments is a losing battle. There is an endless supply of people to whom you could compare yourself and your accomplishments, but, inevitably, you’ll always end up on the losing side of the comparison. That’s because there will always be someone who has done something that you wished you could also accomplish. —Forbes.com And, we all know what that means. So, doing this is essentially self-defeating. You can’t reach the goal if you keep moving it further away. It’s really that simple. Yet, it’s difficult to resist the urge because we all want to accomplish more. How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others Now, how do you stop comparing yourself to others? Sure, it sounds easy but it isn’t. Fortunately, there are ways to beat back the impulse: Practice getting over your FOMO urge. FOMO or fear of missing out. It’s a good portion of what drives the success of social media giants like Facebook. People are always measuring their own lives up against others on social media. Take a break. For instance, don’t check social media for an entire weekend. Or, make your evenings social media free. Look for commonalities, not differences. Instead of comparing yourself based on differences, try identifying commonalities. It will give you a level of reassurance, at the very least. It will also tell you that you are incumbents in some ways and boost your confidence. Take a long, mindful trip down memory lane. One of the best ways not to compare yourself to others is to compare yourself to yourself. That’s right. The you of today is likely a great improvement of the you of the past. Understand what you can and cannot change. Another way to stop comparing yourself to others is to understand and accept there are things you can change and things you cannot change. Doing so will certainly help you contextualize. What other methods would you recommend to stop comparing yourself to others? Please share your thoughts and experience by commenting! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.