I Took Over the Family Business but My Parents won’t Let Me Run It

You have taken over the family business. At least ostensibly. But, it appears that your parents (maybe one in particular), has yet to truly let go of the company. That is to say, your parents collectively, or mom or dad, are still running the day-to-day operations, even though they’re not supposed to do so any longer. It’s driving you crazy, and what’s more, it’s beginning to create a confusing situation among your employees. Worse still, you’re not getting the control and respect you deserve. So, what can you do?

Common Family Business Challenges

When a child or children take over the family business from their parents, it is not at all uncommon for the parents to stick around for a little while. However, if they continue with their normal presence and engagement, it can create a number of problems. First and foremost of course, is the fact that successors aren’t seen as true authority figures. But, that’s not all.

While business owners typically make more money by selling to a third party, many want to keep their companies in the family. ‘If it’s a growing and thriving business, it should appreciate and produce income for the kids,’ says Amelia Heath, a lawyer in Portland, Ore., with Davis Wright Tremaine. ‘If the kids are involved, then giving them the business can be a good choice.’ —Kiplinger

Because the children’s role has been marginalized, they don’t feel comfortable or empowered to make any needed changes. Obviously, the employee’s disposition at large will also be affected by this type of situation. In short, it creates an awkward and uncomfortable scenario that just can’t be tolerated.

How to Take Over a Family Business from Parents Who won’t Let Go

If you’re experiencing these types of circumstances, you’re probably very unhappy, to say the least. Though you appreciate your parents’ past and current contributions, you’re now the one that is supposed to be running the business. Even though they’ve passed it off to you, they’re still holding on to their previous roles. So, here are a few helpful suggestions:

  • Have “the talk.” While it’s either the last thing you want to do, or you’re eager to jump into it, you’ll have to have a firm yet caring discussion. Get the point across that you greatly appreciate all they have done and would also be equally grateful to help you out as you need it, but you must take on the position they’ve passed to you to honor their legacy. In other words, treat them with respect and gracefully allow them to transition out of the company.
  • Speak with your employees. Next, it will probably be necessary to speak to the employees in much the same way. That is to say, that you are now the one that is in charge of the business and they should look to you. Give them a little leeway with this, because if your parents are still even marginally involved, they’ll naturally feel obligated to listen to them. However, given a little time, the entire dynamic will change and the employees will respect your place as the head of the company.
  • Get all your vendors up-to-date. The same thing holds true for vendors. Because they have a long-standing relationship with your parents, they will also feel more comfortable doing business with your folks rather than you. Just as with the employees, this too will change over time.
  • Make necessary changes incrementally. Another way to make the transition go smoother is to hold off making any big changes in the short term. (At least, those things that can wait.) This way, your parents won’t feel as though they’ve been doing something wrong, or that you’ve been itching to making changes they’ve long resisted.

What other suggestions do you have? Please take a moment to share your thoughts and experiences so others can benefit from your perspective!

Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group

Like this article?

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Linkdin
Share on Pinterest

Related Posts

How to Fire Someone, Anyone, Like a Boss

In business, there’s going to be times that put your toughness or timidity, to the test. If you’re an owner, partner, or manager, you might be tasked with firing someone. It could be your employee, your business lawyer, your accountant, a vendor, or someone else. You’ve heard that character is defined by what you do when nobody’s looking, and though giving someone the boot generally happens in a private setting, the other person will be walking out with their own perspective. So, it’s imperative you don’t turn a bad situation worse. Your goal is threefold, to end the relationship, to maintain your good reputation, and to do so with grace and respect. Even someone that’s toxic deserves your forbearance, because it says a lot about you as a person, and, as a leader. It also preserves a semblance of the relationship, something that might be valuable in future encounters and situations. You might even find yourself in the unenviable position of rehiring that same person. How to Fire Someone, Anyone, Like a Boss A firing begins with the first signs of trouble. In those moments, you might feel anger or surprise, depending on what occurs. What you should do when problems begin to arise, is to get to the underlying reasons. Approach him or her, ask questions, and listen to the answers. If the problems persist, try mentoring or some other type of support. Should that not bring the desired change, set boundaries and benchmarks. Firing an employee–looking someone straight in the eye and telling them they no longer have a source of income–is one of the toughest things you’ll ever have to do as a business owner. It’s often as hard on the person giving the bad news as it is on the person receiving it. And yet it still needs to be done, especially if you have someone who’s “poisoning the well” and bringing the entire business down with them. —Entrepreneur Even at these great lengths, you might still find the problem isn’t being solved. So, when the decision to part ways is the last option, know your legal limits. If you’re in an “at-will” employment state, you generally won’t have a problem. However, if he or she is under contract, run it by your attorney. Now, if it’s someone who is involved in impropriety, that’s a whole other manner, because it might be a criminal matter, and, you might be civilly liable. When the time comes to have the actual meeting, do the following: See him or her early in the day. There are several reasons for this, one is for your own benefit, because you’ll be distracted if you wait. Other reasons are you’re not wasting his or her time (which he or she will feel cheated and/or used), you are taking poor work out of his or her hands and giving it to someone who is competent, and, you’re sending a message to others that you listen and act when someone else isn’t working out. Be direct, honest, but not blameful. If it’s reached the point that firing is the only option, he or she is probably quite aware of what’s going on and how it will end. If the individual is not aware or seems blindsided, then you need to look at your Leadership and Management communication as it relates to setting expectations, boundaries and clear direction. Give reasons why, don’t sugarcoat them, but do not be blameful or belligerent. Give praise where it’s deserved. You can give points of praise where it’s deserved but don’t overdo it. Be genuine and graceful while keeping yourself aware of how it’s being received. Be ready to listen. Being told you’re no longer needed or feel unwanted are powerful emotional stirs. You might hear insults, threats, or other unpleasantness, but it’s out of an emotional outburst, don’t take it personally. Explain what will happen next. The finality might take time to sink-in, and, you’ll do him or her a great service by explaining what happens next. For instance, returning company property, retirement account options, these sorts of things. Another kind gesture is to allow them to say goodbye and get their personal possessions together. Rushing someone out the door isn’t dignified, and, it creates a lingering, negative perception that will be with those you still employ. Show courtesy, respect, and empathy and you’ll make the best of a bad situation. [shareaholic app=”follow_buttons” id=”26833294″]

Read More »
Discarded napkin test

Have You Tried the Discarded Napkin Test?

Have you tried the discarded napkin test? Perhaps you’ve never heard of it because it isn’t an actual thing. But, this simple sociological experiment does reveal some fascinating insight into how we perceive others and gauge various environments. Don’t bother Googling it, you won’t find any on-point results. However, that doesn’t mean it’s not useful. Try the Discarded Napkin Test for Yourself The discarded napkin test is a simple one. And, it clearly demonstrates the importance of appearance. Here it is: go into a casual restaurant prior to the lunch hour rush. Crumple a clean napkin and place it on a clean but empty table. Sit nearby and watch how many people past the “tainted” table up for another. Eventually, if there’s no more tables available, someone will muster the courage to clean it off. Or, give into the frustration of the limited seating options and swipe it to the floor. Many workplaces have dress codes, particularly workplaces in industries in which image is highly valued and workplaces in which employees have regular face-to-face contact with customers. Whether you are considering setting a dress code for an existing workplace or trying to decide whether your new retail store will require employees to adhere to a dress code, consider the broad benefits and potential drawbacks — like backlash from casual-dressing employees — of such a move. —Houston Chronicle The point is, people will choose to sit elsewhere even when the only flaw with a table is a discarded napkin. That’s it. Its unpleasing appearance is enough to turn off person after person. Although a bit strange, it’s true. And, it begs the question — are employee dress codes good or bad? Employee Dress Codes Pros and Cons Okay, so there are a number of dumb office rules that drive employees crazy. But, some make sense to enforce. When it comes to employee dress codes, it’s not always cut and dry. This means, while an employee dress code can actually be a good policy, it can also be a bad idea. Here are some employee dress code pros and cons to consider: Pro — professional appearance. The single biggest benefit of an employee dress code is it provides a professional appearance. It’s especially useful in retail settings and offices. In the former, uniforms distinguish employees while the latter, business casual provides a professional yet laid back experience. Con — stifles personal style. Although a dress code does provide a more professional experience, it also can stifle personal style. That can mean rebellion, particularly in an office setting. Team members might feel an imposition and possibly a bit untrusted. Pro — provides “uniform” experience. Of course, you’d like your business to send a uniform message, which uniforms undeniably provide. However, in an office setting, this is a little more problematic. But, broad rules with clear prohibitions usually works well. Con — needs consistent policing. Now, the biggest downside of any dress code is the need to police it constantly and consistently. Otherwise, it’s just a suggestion and not enforced policy. At least, that’s the way employees will feel. What other pros and cons of employee dress codes have you experienced? Do you favor a strict dress code or a loose one? Please share your thoughts and experiences by commenting! Interested in learning more about business? Then just visit Waters Business Consulting Group.

Read More »

Imagine Selling Your Business…

How Would Your Life Change?

You didn’t start your business just to stay busy—you built it to create freedom, security, and options for yourself and your family. Selling your business can be life-changing, but the real question is whether you’re intentionally building toward that outcome or simply leaving it to chance.

Sign up below for a free consultative session to learn what your business could be worth today and in the future! 

Thank you for your interest in learning what your business is worth. We will be in touch shortly.